Week 40: Today is Due Date Day!!!

Size of Baby: jackfruit. Who knew there was something bigger than a watermelon. Oh my word. I just googled Jackfruit. What a well-played joke, TheBump, well played.. There is NO WAY I am THAT big. OH there is NO WAY I am pushing something THAT BIG through my hoo-haa. uh uh.

NO.

What's that Babe up to: even the bump doesn't have much to say. Here is what he's doing: getting bigger, growing nails, growing hair, and further developing lungs. Isn't that just dandy.

Symptoms: swelling, lightning bolts down my legs, insomnia, backaches.

Food cravings or aversions: this is such a not-40-weeks-pregnant question
Weight: 198.
Weight gain so far: 50 lbs. of course, I've been as high as 203 but... 
Stretch Marks: yes yes yes

Sleep: I'm just going to leave last week's comment on this up because apparently not everyone has seen it..... Could everyone stop telling me to get as much sleep as I can now because I won't get any after the baby comes? You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea, except that I CAN'T SLEEP and that's all I would like to do, and being told that I won't get any after he's born does NOT make me feel any better. (i'm not actually upset at you for telling me this, and you're not the only one, i know you mean well)
Best moment this week: NOT going to work!!!
Miss Anything: I sure do miss my sleep, and many other things... but sleep is probably #1 right now. I get emails from Lucie's List and this is what she had to say about this:  (The other side is this great place where you can actually tie your shoes without assistance. On the other side... there is SUSHI and soft cheese. And wine, my god, the booze is simply amazing (once it hits your lips, it's so good!), UNCOOKED lunch meat. And hot tubs. Belly sleeping. Dangerous ladder-standing.... did I mention the booze?)  I don't necessarily feel the same way about all these things, but I think it's funny nonetheless. And I want a hot tub.

Movement: yep- just reminding me he's still in there.... in case I forgot...
Maternity Clothes: I have 3 shirts and 2 pants that I prefer to wear. They are all in the wash. Don't picture me right now.....
Belly Button: half and half
Wedding Rings: I miss those too. And I'm nervous they will never fit again....
Looking Forward To: I am really looking forward to some tight pain in my torso. And then I'm looking forward to it happening again 5 minutes later. I kid you not, I am really looking forward to that.... Also, I'm looking forward to seeing what he looks like. Will he have hair? Will it be brown or blonde? Will he have a big nose? little ears? fat cheeks? acne? birthmarks? cross-eyed? I just wonder is all...

Journal:
  First of all, I would like to ask everyone to just calm down a little for me. I understand that you're kind of excited for me to have this baby. Believe it or not, Andrew and I are pretty excited ourselves. Maybe a little anxious, maybe getting a little impatient. But you know what I was thinking today?? I would have a LOT more patience in waiting for this baby if everyone else wouldn't make me feel like he's 3 weeks late already. He's not even late (yet). So when you see me next week, then you can act like you've been acting these last 2 weeks. I know, I know, I brought it upon myself when I had ONE bad day of high blood pressure with swelling and a big weight gain. I know, we all thought he was coming 3 weeks ago when my Dr told me so. But you know what?? Every day since then my blood pressure has been good, my swelling is present but not as severe, no protein in my urine, and the little guy has a happy high heart rate. We are all healthy. We are all ready to meet each other, but no need to get all bent out of shape just because he didn't come EARLY.

That's just how I feel today. And yesterday. However, the day before that and probably tomorrow, I will be thinking.... WHAT THE HECK??!!?! THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS! GET HIM OUT NOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!! Oh wait, yeah that's how I've felt for the last 2 weeks. I've had a change of heart.... no matter if it is just temporary.

Get on outta there!

I have been feeling SOOOO much better since I stopped working. Stress is so exhausting. I used to pride myself in not getting stressed out over things- ask my hygiene school friends! But I tell you what, that job was pushing my limits. Hopefully it was just the combo of the job with my pregnancy and when I go back in 11.5 weeks it won't be so bad. ;)

I have gotten so much done since I stopped working. It's pretty easy to stay on top of laundry and dishes. I made TWELVE different freezer crockpot meals. I made some yummy desserts. Did a ton of grocery shopping. Went for a walk, went for a drive, spent an entire day playing rummy-kub, & watched a ton of Olympics!!! Life has been great.
One thing that I've been planning on doing once I started my maternity leave is CRAFT!!! Sew, paint, glue, etc.... anything! I LOVE to make things and I never find the time to do it while I'm working so I thought for sure that's what I would jump right into once I stopped working. Haven't. done. a. thing. Instead it's spending my day in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, laundry, organizing finances, etc etc. Maybe today will be the day. I think it's because I don't already have something in mind to make. I will be visiting Pinterest later today.

Dude, check out this funny trick I learned while waiting for the shower to get hot...

Suck it in...

And relax...

I can basically make it look like I'm only 30 weeks pregnant!!! haha!!! So far, I am the only one impressed by this. And the only one who thinks it's funny. Anyone on my side? Oh by the way, I hadn't eaten breakfast yet when I did this. Goes to show there is plenty of room in there yet for the little man to swim around. ugh.

SO are you curious what my Dr said this week?? WELL... nothing has changed. I'm still only 1cm dilated. She stripped my membranes again this week, hoping to get my water to break. It was a little more aggressive this time, apparently, since I've been spotting ever since. That's gross. You didn't want to know that. Sorry. Now you do. She told me she still has no plans this week so any day would be great for her. That's nice, me too. Andrew keeps telling me he doesn't want to go to work and so any day would be great for him. That's nice, me too. I FEEL NOTHING. ANYWHO- So today is my due date and she said they generally don't let anyone go more than 1 week late. That's good because I don't want to have my baby in March. (Does anyone remember me saying I didn't want a baby in January? yeah, see we picked February for a reason...) SOO if I don't have the baby by Sunday night, I'm supposed to call Monday morning and we will schedule an induction for next week. She then said, but hopefully you go naturally, because that's just best. Amen. SO my fervent prayer has been that I go into labor naturally. I really don't want to be induced. I also really don't want him to get any bigger. Induction wins over getting bigger. I've mentally prepared myself to make that call Monday morning. I'm planning on being induced. I'm hoping I get a nice surprise. I hope God doesn't see that as doubting the power of my prayers. Maybe ya'll can join me in praying that I go naturally... whenever that may be.

A little trip down memory lane. Twenty weeks is cute. I think that's plenty big enough. 40 just looks awkward.

Week 39: Can you just come now??

Size of Baby: watermelon. I mean really, just look at my belly... obviously huge. Dr said about 8 pounds on Tuesday.

What's that Babe up to: you mean besides not coming out? yeah, he's just getting bigger. that's it. oh wait, and also his nails have probably grown past his fingers. I'm telling you folks, nothing of great significance that can't be done outside the womb. Come meet the world, little one, I'd very much like to see what you look like.
Symptoms: swelling, of course, lightning bolts down my legs, heartburn, insomnia, backaches, a freaking cold.

Food cravings or aversions: still none, but eating whatever I feel like for just a little longer. I just ate mac & cheese and grape juice for breakfast. I mean, it's whatever.
Weight: 199
Weight gain so far: Is that 51 pounds? I think so. I was 196 all week until this morning.... I had a lot to eat last night
Stretch Marks: they are taking over, and they are not pretty. And they have moved down to my thighs now. Which is really cool. I shouldn't complain; it's my own fault for not exercising while pregnant past 20 weeks. 

Sleep: Could everyone stop telling me to get as much sleep as I can now because I won't get any after the baby comes? You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea, except that I CAN'T SLEEP and that's all I would like to do, and being told that I won't get any after he's born does NOT make me feel any better. (i'm not actually upset at you for telling me this, and you're not the only one, i know you mean well)
Best moment this week: Getting to spend more time with Andrew lately... that's my favorite.
Miss Anything: I sure do miss my sleep, and many other things... but sleep is probably #1 right now.

Movement: yes, except now those kicks are a bit more painful... like the walls of my uterus are getting sore.
Maternity Clothes: The wardrobe availability shrinks day by day. Note my belly sticking out of the shirt in the picture?
Belly Button: half and half
Wedding Rings: picked them up last night! Now they are all shiny and sparkly and ready to be worn! I'm quite nervous about them fitting ever again since they aren't even close to fitting..... at all.
Looking Forward To: Why have I not said this before... I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!! today would be great.

Journal:
SO really, I am 39 weeks and 3 days. I don't want to jip myself of those 3 days. I don't want you to think I have a full week until I'm 40 weeks. Because in fact, it's only 4 days until my due date. Do you remember when I said I hope I go late so my mom can come out and also I like those numbers better, etc, etc..... Let me just say that the main reason why my preference on why I'd like to have the little guy out of here as soon as possible is because he ain't no little guy. Every day I don't feel a contraction, this babe is putting on the weight. I am still planning on going naturally, fully, but the idea of pushing out 10 pounds just doesn't get me excited. Can I get some appreciation for that??

Well this week went much like I said it would last week. Worked Monday, came home completely exhausted. Andrew made supper, I ate it, and then laid on the couch the rest of the night. Tuesday, I saw the doctor and she said I still wasn't quite 2cm dilated, but that I was 60% effaced. She "stripped my membranes" to help encourage labor to start... didn't work. She told me to have sex. We listen to what Dr's tell us, but alas, still no labor. Not even false labor. I've felt NOTHING except discomfort. I feel pressure in my abdomen, which people tell me is something, but I'm pretty sure it's just the little guy moving around, or trying to since we are all running out of room to move much.
Wednesday I worked again and was just a slight bit less exhausted afterwards, so Andrew and I kept our plans of going to the Valentine meal the MYF at church put on. It was delightful and delicious. My dear sweet friend at church used to do Reflexology so I asked her to show me where the labor induction areas were and she told me to prop my feet up and she'd work them for me! WOW that hurt.... and again... did not work. :(
Thursday I worked my last day of work for 12 weeks!!!!!!! 12 weeks just doesn't sound very long to me anymore. 40 weeks sounds long, not 12. It was a busy long day where we were understaffed, but everyone seemed to maintain good cheer regardless and it wasn't a bad day at all because of it. After work me and 4 coworkers went across the street to the best Mexican restaurant to celebrate. It was lovely. 

I have an update on my bra-hate. Turns out I'm not a D after all. *phew* I'm just bigger around the bust... I measure at 36 inches, but I'm telling you that 38 is tight, so I think I'm really 40.... ANYWHO... my friend told me I need to get some bra extenders and my problem should be solved! SCORE! I got some this week and tried those bras on again and they magically fit. Well, the Ds are a little big, but apparently that's good for when the milk comes in. Oh boy. I'm ready to be a mom, I'm ready to change diapers, I'm ready to love and snuggle like never before, I'm ready for it.... but I am not excited about the breastfeeding and all the pains that go with that. Ouch. Bring it on, kiddo, let's do this.

So nature and life and my body decided to play a really cruel joke on me this week (I say nature, life and my body because surely, God wouldn't wish this upon me.)  This week I have developed a nasty head cold. My MIL told me this is what happens right before the baby comes, in fact she asked me a couple times before I got sick if I was sick because that meant the baby was coming. I think she wished it upon me. (if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding.) I know plenty of people who did NOT get a cold before their baby came and I would have been just fine being in that category instead. Not just because I'm already in great discomfort and struggling to breathe as it is, and adding a headache, cough, sinus pain, runny noses, congestion, etc to the mix is a terrible thing to suffer through, but HELLO.... the SNEEZES!!!!!!!!!! I sneezed SO MUCH at work this week and every time I'm squeezing.... squeezing so hard.... but alas... I sniss. As if being this huge and waddling around and then all the humbling experiences of childbirth I'm preparing myself for weren't humiliating enough, then I have to pee my pants at work. The one time was so bad... it wasn't just a little bit. I had to excuse myself from my poor patient to "blow my nose" so I could go to the bathroom and attempt to clean up a little. I felt like a 5 year old who peed their pants at school, and unfortunately there were no spare sweatpants to change into. Not cool, kids, not cool.

I did manage to avoid having my water break at work. I daydreamed about that numerous times and how embarrassing that would be. I'm glad I snuck past that. Of course, had that happened, I would have a baby now.....

Well I suppose that's about all I have to say. When I look back at this journal post I will see how negative I became towards the end. Sorry about that. It's true though... I'm ready to move on. Move on or sleep. In fact, in this exact moment I don't care if I could sleep for a solid 5 hours or if I started labor. Either one sounds magical.

Week 38: Ha!

Size of Baby: pumpkin!

What's that Babe up to: has hopefully an inch of hair already! I sure do hope he has hair! Also, he's shedding the white goo on his skin. good thing, cause that's not cute.
Symptoms: oh the swelling with finger numbness on my right hand. Also, the lightning bolts that want to collapse me or paralyze me since the baby is sitting and hitting my nerves.

Food cravings or aversions: nothing, but I did realize last night that my days of having an excuse to eat ice cream at 10:30 at night are numbered... So I enjoyed a nice size bowl before bed.
Weight: 199
Weight gain so far: I lost 4 pounds! ha! I don't know what the problem was last week.
Stretch Marks: they are taking over, and they are not pretty

Sleep: Sunday night and Monday night I slept so good- I only woke up once or twice to pee and I thought, oh maybe God is blessing me with a couple good nights of sleep right before the baby comes! Alas, no baby yet.
Best moment this week: um... getting everything, including our brains, ready for having a baby
Miss Anything: Being able to get a massage while lying on my stomach.

Movement: yes, still enjoying that!!!
Maternity Clothes: I just wish they were longer! And every day I struggle with what pants to wear.
Belly Button: half out, half in. I've investigated this further and that's as far as I think it can physically go, without tearing. oh tearing.... that word makes me cringe.
Wedding Rings: I've decided to wear them on my necklace now so that if they should magically fit after delivery I can put them back on!! I do miss them so...
Looking Forward To: Well, I told Andrew if we don't have this baby this week, that my consolation prize is a trip to Olive Garden. So I'm looking forward to that, since I've convinced myself that he isn't coming any time soon.

Journal:
   Sorry this post is coming to you later than expected.... It's just really not as exciting to write!!! Obviously, my observation on Friday went well, and no baby was to be had since then. How disappointing, yet relieving all at the same time. We have been on a mental rollercoaster it seems for the last week and a half! (it's telling me rollercoaster isn't one word... it should be, so I'm leaving it.) So let's back up and review the last week so I don't forget years from now. I made myself little bullet points to hit on in this blog: Bras, Olive Garden, Appointment, Work, Weather. I know what you're most excited to hear about.

So where did we leave off? Wednesday. Thursday was much the same... spent waddling and aching through work. Friday morning before my appointment I had the feeling my bp was fine and I was going to come straight back home and be disappointed that I got all worked up for a baby to come this week and then my Dr was going to change her mind. That's pretty much exactly what happened. I went to the Women's Center and got all hooked up and took a nap. Of course, every time the BP cuff started going, it startled me awake (they should've videoed me- I'm sure it was funny) and then I anxiously watched as it never went above 130/82.... high for me, but totally acceptable for keeping a baby inside. So I got sent home with instructions to follow up with my Dr on Tuesday as planned. I decided since I had nothing else planned that day I would take my time getting home. So I went to Lefty's Pizza and got the buffet and ate by myself... while I messaged Alexa and Michelle in the booth with my iPad. *sigh. Then I ran some errands- returning more baby things and getting cash money to spend on other baby things instead. Finally I came back home and who knows what happened after that- it was over a week ago. I don't even remember what we did last weekend. Oh Saturday we went to the Stuckey's and played the Farming Game. I've heard references to this game for years now, and I must say- I think you have to grow up with it to really enjoy it.

Sunday after church we ate at the local delicious Mexican hotspot, while people told me they and everyone else ate Mexican right before they had their babies. Didn't work for me. I don't remember what else happened that day. Or Monday- I worked, that's all I know. Wow, I'm really not remembering anything.

Tuesday I had a meeting at work all morning that I skipped out on part of to see my doctor. I was so excited and curious to see if I was dilated more and when she thought I'd have the baby. Well... I didn't score an exam so who knows if I progressed any more, and she was so relieved when she saw me. I wasn't surprised by anything she said, but I can't say I was 100% happy about any of it too. haha, which is funny- because I was perfectly healthy. I lost 4 pounds since the week before (when I had gained 8) I was much less swollen, my urine tests were all good (even with a donut for breakfast!!) and my BP was 130 something over 80 something. So we talked about vaccines and tests and IVs and all that great stuff. She said I made her nervous last week but that she still didn't think I would make it much past my due date. Yep. She said that. Um.... recap: last week she told me she wasn't about to let me go to my due date. Now this week, she tells me I won't go much PAST it. Seriously???? Come on... Hence the rollercoaster Andrew and I have been on this week. "baby's coming any day!!!" "baby won't be here for at least 2 weeks!!" ugh. I mean, really- I know there isn't a huge rush- He's healthier the longer he's in there, my parents get back from Argentina on Wednesday, being induced is harder labor than going naturally, yadda yadda yadda........ Also- the longer he's in there, the bigger he gets. Helloooooo.

Back to that IV mention... You'll remember I'm terrified of such things. I had a kind friend tell me that I was going to get an IV no matter what. I asked the doc about this and she said that I don't HAVE to have an IV no matter what, but that since she's never delivered any of my babies (funny, since I don't have any), she would like to at least have a hep-lock just in case of an emergency and if things go great this time, maybe next time I won't need one. I suppose I can concede to that. I'm learning to be a big girl every day. 

So I went back to work then on Tuesday and finished off the day. The next day we were supposed to get a big snow storm (which, of course, we did) so we had a bunch of people cancelling. So our lovely front desk people moved my schedule around and gave me the day off. Lots of people ended up with the day off, but at least mine was planned so I didn't have to worry/wonder in the morning! Thursday I went back to work but people were still cancelling so I only worked the morning. It was a wretched morning that I would like to never repeat nor even talk about so all I will say is, Praise the Lord I'm pregnant and got to leave in the morning. I came home and took off my bra and put on my sweats and took a couple back to back hour naps. It was just what I needed.

Since I've mentioned it twice now... I have recently acquired a disdain for bras. I hate them. Truly, I do. In fact, I don't even like boobs anymore. Not that I really loved them before, but I had nothing against my nice little ones. Now they are big, and I can't seem to find any bras that fit them. They cut into my ribs and make me so sore I want to scream. I hate them. Remember how I said I bought a nursing bra a while ago and it was too small?? Well I ordered 3 more online that were much bigger.... they are too small. I tell you my weight, so really, do you mind if I tell you my boob size? Pre-pregnancy I was a 32/34 barely B. I am now the owner of a 38D that is too small. TOO SMALL??!?!?! Did I seriously grow 7 inches around my bust along with the giant boobs?????!??! I understand many of you have started out with Ds, but seriously. When you've been an A and B all your life, D is really huge, along with wearing 32s and 34s and having 38s be way too tight. I'm told that they will be getting bigger, then smaller, then disappear (can't wait), and that I should keep all these nursing bras because eventually they may fit. What do I do between now and then???? I suffer another week or 2 or whatever, then my sister anonymous friend will lend me her jumbo ones to get me by. I hate bras. and I hate boobs. and yes, I realize all the men in my life love and will love them. That does not convince me they are worth it.

Moving on.... last weekend when we were at the Stuckey's there was an Olive Garden commercial on for a 2 for $25 meal deal thingy-do. It looked sooooooo yummy that I declared to Andrew that if we don't have a baby this week we are going to Olive Garden next weekend as a consolation prize. Well! Last night we went and wow.... that was the most AMAZINGLY delicious meal I've enjoyed in a while. The beauty of it is, I couldn't finish it and I get to enjoy leftovers today!!! Just saying, this little boy has a lot to live up to now. ;)
Andrew had put together a perfectly planned evening last night. We are getting a second washer since our current HE washer doesn't always get our clothes clean. We are cloth diapering. There will be poop involved. Our washer NEEDS to get ALL the clothes clean. So we are getting a non-HE one to use just for the diapers. I think it puts everyone's mind at ease. So last night we were going to go pick that up, then go to Olive Garden, then hop over to the mall to drop off my rings to get all shined up for when I can get them on my finger again, and spend a free $10 at JCPenney. We planned on leaving as soon as Andrew got home from work. I was actually ready to go when he got home and we were about to leave when he got a text from the person selling us the washer (Craigslist) saying there was a family emergency and tonight wouldn't work afterall. UGH. So waded in our misery of our evening's plans disintegrating, tried to rescue it several times, both of us were getting/staying grumpy.... Finally we decided we would just go to Olive Garden anyway, and Andrew would take the truck to pick up the washer another day. Oh, for those not local... Olive Garden is in Toledo- about an hour away. That's also where the washer was. We don't go to Toledo all that often, since it's an hour away (yes, I realize for some of you that's not very far) and now we are going to have to go twice, instead of hitting it all up in one trip. The evening didn't really redeem itself until we got our main dishes. AMAZING. And the leftovers that I'm enjoying right now are almost just as amazing. Anyway- everything always works itself out, we just need to be flexible when things don't go as planned. haha.... that sounds like advice my sister some wise lady was telling me last week about my childbirth plans...... lesson learned.

Finally, I should mention the weather this year. We have had 3 separate occasions of Level 3 emergencies- instances where due to weather we are not permitted to drive on the roads. As in, this has been one heck of a winter where the snow and cold have been incredible!!! Many people are tired of it, and ready for Spring, but for once- I am loving it all.... hello, who knew you could get snow days as an adult?!?! This is fun!!! The snow is piled up super-high and the winds just make it that much higher. I do hate the wind. But really, only when I have to be outside. Otherwise, let it blow and drift and keep us all snowed in. :) I say this because we have a nice warm house, and no need to leave. Of course.... we will have a need to leave and hopefully when we are going to the hospital it's not one of the bad days. The temperatures have dipped well below zero, with the coldest being -40 with the windchill factored in. I heard this past storm was the most snowfall we had- which was somewhere between 9-12 inches. **update: I just heard we have gotten 67 inches of snow this winter so far! That's the most since 1981/82!!**  I tried to take some pictures today of our place, but I don't know that it will really show much. Anyway, little baby..... it's been a cold, hard, real winter this year, and it hasn't been like this in quite a few years!!! :)

This coming week will probably be much like the past weeks: I work Monday, Dr Tuesday, with NO WORK  on Tuesday, not even the afternoon!!! score!!! and then I work Wednesday, and maybe Thursday if patients get added to the schedule. My parents get home on Wednesday so we can talk via phones again and not cross our fingers they have internet provided where they are!!! Full moon is on Valentine's day- Friday- so who knows... maybe next weekend will be the lucky time. The glory of next week is that it is my LAST week of work. I am starting my maternity leave on the 17th, so even if I am forced to wait ANOTHER week, at least I won't have the stress of work to bog me down. score.

Ok, is there any way that the person who just did our health info gathering for life insurance will read this blog? I hope not. And if so, I do sincerely apologize, please forgive me, and I will forever be embarrassed. hahahaha! But this story is just too good not to share. So Andrew and I are getting life insurance. I got a call earlier this week to see if today would work to do the blood work, height & weight and all that good stuff. So I told Andrew that a guy was going to be coming on Saturday right after lunch and to make sure he's home. Well today the guy calls because our address doesn't like GPSes since our address is different than our county... it's weird, I know, but trust me. So I'm giving him directions and when I hang up I told Andrew that he really sounds like Randy on Say Yes to the Dress. Like identical. If he would have walked up to our door, I wouldn't even have been surprised. Andrew didn't know who that was, so I tried to explain. Well the van pulls in the driveway.... and a lady steps out. WHAT?! hahahaha! Andrew thought I was the most ridiculous person in the world so after the kind lady left, I brought up a clip of Randy from Say Yes to the Dress and had him close his eyes. I'm telling you, she sounds IDENTICAL to him. All this time I thought she was a man, and now I'm wondering if I ever said anything that would have tipped her off. I sure hope not.....

My favorite maternity shirt needed photographed. So much more flattering than that white tank!!!

My outfit for church tomorrow. Sorry it's blurry. Funny thing is- that is a misses dress size small... that has now become a size large maternity tunic! ha! love it. maternity dresses when you are this huge are just plain hideous.

See you next week.