Birth Story: Corbin Jack

So my baby is already a month old, and I've heard from a handful of you that you've been waiting for an update on the blog. Well... believe it or not, the blog has taken a major backseat to basically everything else in life. I wanted to journal his birth story right away so I wouldn't forget things, especially the funny stuff. But I tell you what, every day that first week the one thing I wanted to make sure got done was documenting what was happening but between visitors and feeding all I could manage to do was sleep! I would look at a screen and last no more than 10 seconds. Also, every time I nursed him I felt like I was being drugged because I couldn't stay awake... even with visitors. I remember trying so hard to stay awake when people would visit but I just couldn't. Anyway- let's back up... Oh and remember, I'm not good at telling short stories... so grab a cup of hot cocoa and kick your feet up-- if you plan to finish reading this in one sitting, it will be a while......

 At my last prenatal appointment my doctor told me if I didn't have this baby by Sunday, to call Monday morning to schedule an induction for that week. After he didn't come by the weekend I prepared myself and assumed I was going to need to be induced. I remember talking to my sister on Saturday about having to be induced and how jipped she felt when she was induced with her first and I was feeling the same about not going into labor naturally. When we went to bed Saturday night- me in our bed, Andrew in the guest bed, neither of us thought it would be our last night just the 2 of us.

​I woke up around 3:20am Sunday morning feeling like I had to poop, and NOW. So I went downstairs and sat... and sat... and gave up. So I went back to bed feeling constipated. I woke back up a half hour later thinking I would for sure go this time, but just the way it had come back made me wonder. I saw Andrew stir when I was on my way downstairs so I told him, “I might be having contractions but I think I’m just constipated.” He just said, “really?” But he tells me now that he was thinking, “if you think you’re having contractions, you probably are!” Well I went back to the bathroom and I did indeed poop. I went back upstairs and just sat at the top talking to Andrew. I told him I still didn’t feel right, but that I did poop and maybe I just wasn’t done. Andrew wasn’t entirely convinced by that. Well I crawled back in bed and then immediately got back out, feeling awful. I came downstairs and kind of wandered around and then tried sitting on the couch for a little but I couldn’t hold still because of the pain in my lower back. Around 4:30am I yelled up the stairs, "Andrew, can you come downstairs?!" I needed some moral support. He did and we tried to see if this was real labor or not. (more so, I tried to decide if it was or not, and Andrew tried to convince me.) I was so confused because I had read before that real labor starts at the top of your uterus and works its way down. Well my stomach/torso area never once hurt. Finally I decided to call my mom and ask her if I was having back labor. I never asked her that question (Andrew did) because I was afraid of the answer. She had told me before that back labor was the WORST and she hoped of all things that I didn't have back labor. I had back labor. Anyway, she said it sounded like labor, and when I got a contraction I gave Andrew the phone and I squatted on the floor and yelled. Andrew had been trying to time my contractions, which he said was hard to do because I was moaning the whole time- but definitely louder when they were stronger. Finally after he kept saying “that was like 5 minutes!” and “it’s only been like 2 minutes!!!” I called the hospital and told them I was coming in.

​On the way to the hospital I continued to have contractions roughly 3-6 min apart. I remember being able to tell when they were coming on and I told yelled at Andrew that I hated knowing they were coming.  There were no cars on the road on our way, and Andrew took the liberty of speeding the whole way there. He asked what he should do if he got pulled over and I said, “DON’T PULL OVER! Put your 4 ways on and just keep going!” Luckily we didn’t have to try that out. Right before the hospital there is a red light that takes FOREVER to change so as soon as we were coming up to it, I informed Andrew of this, and told him to run it. He did. Andrew asked if he should drop me off but I didn’t want to be left alone so I made him park and we walked to the door together, me stopping a couple times because of the pain. When we got to the desk I said my name and the nurse said, I assume you called in? I told her I did and she told someone, “We have another one.” All the triage rooms were full so she took me right to a Labor/Delivery/Recovery/Postpartum room. She handed me a gown and told me to change into it. Now, I realize that everyone was about to see invade my most private areas but I did not feel like getting butt naked in a big room with a nurse and my husband. I don't know why I thought I had to have any dignity because I went to the bathroom and while I was sitting there, I got very nauseous. I told the nurse I felt like I was going to throw up and sure enough… I did... butt naked sitting on the toilet throwing up and she's being a good nurse and getting me a bin to barf in and helping me put my gown on. So long dignity. Finally I climbed into the bed and she checked me and told me I was 2cm dilated. What a huge let down!!! I couldn’t believe I had all those contractions with all that pain and I was only one more centimeter dilated!!! Andrew and I were both thinking that this was going to be a very long day. The nurse told us that some other doctor was on call that weekend but that sometimes mine would come in anyway. I thought, well she better come in, she told me she wasn’t doing anything this weekend!

​I’m pretty sure the nurses thought it was going to be a long day too, and under different circumstances, I’m sure I would have been sent back home. However, when they called my doctor she told them to keep me there and she would come in and break my water, since I was overdue anyway. She apparently also had a busy week scheduled and didn’t know when she was going to fit me in for an induction! When the nurses told me she was going to break my water, they also decided to tell me that the labor was going to get much worse once she did that. I don’t know why they decided to tell me that. It was a lie anyway.

​I continued to have back labor and Andrew was pushing with his fists on my lower back to help with the pain. He was pushing as hard as he could; I ended up with slight bruising on my lower back! One time he said he was going to push me off the bed if he kept pushing that hard, and I told him that’s ok. I pushed against the bed railing and every now and then would scootch back to the other side of the bed. One particular contraction he was pushing on my back and I thought maybe he was making it worse, so I told him, “Stop pushing!” Well as soon as he stopped, the pain got worse, so I yelled, “PUSH!” Andrew says I did that a couple times, but I only remember one.

​I ended up throwing up two more times throughout the course of labor because the pain was so strong. What an awful, terrible feeling. The throwing up, which was mainly dry heaving followed by regurgitating clear liquids, is what made me cry and feel like the worst person in the world. My mouth was so incredibly dry that I needed to keep drinking, but eventually I realized that’s what was making me throw up. Andrew asked me if I wanted ice (how he knew to think of and offer that, I don’t know) and I told him I did because maybe the moisture would last longer in my mouth. I ate ice chips the rest of labor.

​Andrew did such an amazing job. There is no way that I could have done that without his help. He was encouraging, he did whatever I asked yelled and never once appeared scared. I tell him the only thing he could have done better is have some extra hands so he could give me ice while still pushing on my back. I hated losing his pressure when he would get me the ice, but I couldn’t do without the ice either!!!

​The nurses kept asking me if I wanted the epidural and I kept telling them, “No, I do not!” I knew it would take a lot of convincing for me to get the epidural, and if that back labor couldn’t convince me, no one will ever be able to!  After about an hour and a half of contractions, I think the nurses realized that I was progressing faster than they initially thought. They checked me again and I was 5-6cm dilated. Andrew and I both felt some relief with that! At least all this was doing something!!!

​At one point the nurses were talking about how me and the other girl who came in right before me, both came in not wanting an epidural and that the other girl just got one. I heard that and told Andrew, “I WIN!” He didn’t let me have that satisfaction, and he responded, “ No, you don’t win. You’re just more stubborn.” Darn right, I am. I'm sure that I will go without an epidural for all future births too because the next day my doctor told me she was really glad I didn't have one because she didn't think she would have been able to get him out with one. She watched him twist as he came through the canal. With him being in there all wompy, I probably would have needed a c-section if I got an epidural.

​The labor nurse asked me if I wanted Stadol to help with the pain. I had no idea what that was, and was nervous to say yes. I tried to get her to tell me a little more about it, but all she really said was that it takes the edge off the pain and will feel like I’ve had a couple drinks. I don’t know what having a couple drinks feels like, but if it feels like Stadol, I don't want them. She gave it to me and immediately I felt dizzy and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I basically kept my eyes shut the rest of the time. When they asked me to rate my pain, I told them that maybe it was a little better- I picked 9 instead of 10.  Andrew says he could see the difference more than I could feel it. I still say the pain at the height of the contractions was just as bad. The difference was that in between them, I got some relief, unlike I was getting before. Between contractions I was nearly falling asleep. 

​Backing up a little, I started out laying on my back and labored there for a little while, but eventually a nurse told me that the baby’s heartrate was dropping when I had contractions so I would need to reposition myself. She suggested laying on my side, so I went to my right first. That felt better for me anyway so I was happy to do it. Unfortunately, it made it worse for the baby so they said to try the other side. Well when I rolled to my left side I got another contraction so I said, “NOOO! This is worse!!” They told me it was better for the baby and that I should stay. I stayed that way until I was pushing him out.

​Around 9/9:30ish my doctor showed up in her "street clothes." I was SOOOOO glad to see her! She got herself changed into scrubs and checked me out. I was 8-9cm dilated! Andrew and I were so excited! She broke my water, which I never felt and when the nurse asked her if it was clear my doctor said, “Yeah, well there’s really not much there, she is overdue.” Maybe that’s why I never felt the difference.

​So like I said, I continued my back labor and let everyone in the hospital know it. I was a screamer. I yelled with every contraction, and moaned in between. I would sometimes yell things like, “It HURRRRRTS!” or “I HATE THIS!” “I’m never doing this AGAIN!!!” Andrew told me he would remember that. (Later that day I said something like, “Next time…” And Andrew reminded me of this.

Anyway, so my least favorite nurse would respond to these outbursts by saying things like “Yes, this is labor” “Labor hurts” “it’s supposed to.” Let me just tell you… I wanted to smack her face off for saying those things. Andrew even agrees that she was… not helpful in this way.

​Once, the doctor came in and told me that I could push a little when my contractions were the worst and that would help with the pain. I had been clenching everything and my legs were stiff as boards during those contractions. So I had to sort of, change gears a bit to push instead of clench. The pushing really did help. I did a little at first, but got sort of addicted to it. I don’t remember rolling back to my back but before I knew it the nurses were bringing up foot rests for me to push against and they told me to hold on to my legs to help me push and I was pushing! I couldn’t hold on to my legs. That didn’t really work for me. My doctor told them since I was pretty tall that maybe the handle bars would be easier. Thank you, yes they were. I was gripping and pulling on these handlebars with all my strength!!! I thought about labor and pushing when I was pregnant and I always thought I would love the feeling of pushing and that I would be really good at it. I’m really good at pushing out poop. Well…. that’s what I did. I pooped 3 times. Yes, THREE times. And it wasn’t diarrhea either. I know that I was pooping because I could feel the turds coming out and I could smell it, and I could feel my doctor wiping my butt, and watched her change her gloves every time. How I can look her in the face now is beyond me. I yelled at her once, "all I can do is poop!" and she said it was fine and to not worry about it. Well I wouldn’t worry about it except that’s the only feeling of pushing I could get. People say it’s the same muscles you use to push, but I’m here to tell you there is a difference! I had one good push that I know was the right muscles, but I couldn’t ever find it again. My doctor even said that was a good one. I never felt him moving down, and I couldn’t feel a thing with the pushing… just immense back pain. They told me they could feel the head and that he was close and push “one more time.” That’s like my mother’s “one more bite,”which is only true if you’re an alligator. I really really really hated pushing. I felt like I couldn’t do it. In fact, that is what I kept yelling. And Andrew, the nurses, and the doctor all responded that I could do it, and that I was doing it right now. I grunted and yelled with every push and whenever I would do that, the nurse and Dr would yell, “ no no no!!!” I thought that meant, don’t push! Once I realized that’s not what they meant, I yelled “I don’t know what you mean when you say no!!!” Basically the doctor was yelling at me. I was yelling at her. It was a joyous occasion.  

​My doctor told Andrew to come down and help her out, which was NOT the plan. I told him for months that he was required to stay up by me so my lady parts and giving birth would not gross him out. He was needed to help hold my leg out, since I kept wanting to close them, and also holding my legs back on the table, since I kept wanting to slide off! Not really though, I kept pushing, and moving farther down the table because I felt like I could push harder down, than out. I guess my doctor didn’t think that was a good idea.

There was another time​ I wasn’t breathing slow enough (probably because I told Andrew to stop telling me to focus on my breathing) and there was, I guess, some hyperventilating about to happen and all of a sudden there is an oxygen mask on my face. Hello?! A warning would be nice!!! So I ripped it off my face. The nurse yelled at me told me to leave it on, and put it back on. I glared at her and left it on for about 5 more seconds and ripped it off again. I made sure I calmed my breathing down so they wouldn't sufficate me with more oxygen... ;)

​Finally, I felt the Ring of Fire. I knew the end was near. Only maybe 3 more pushes and that precious head was out. It was so huge I thought for sure his whole body was out. Nope! One more push and out he came. I did open my eyes in time to see his slimy little (big) body as the doctor pulled him out. They did some this and that, I don’t know what, and I light-heartedly pushed out the placenta and felt the ultimate relief I was craving. Andrew cut the cord and the nurses wiped Corbin off and placed him on my chest. AH-MAZING. I slowly brought my hands up to him and touched his little arm. I could not believe it- he was real! That’s what I thought when I touched his skin and felt his warmth, felt that there was blood, muscles, and bone inside. He was real and alive, and ours! Whoa!

​He wasn’t really very cute. Andrew and I both agreed on this. However… later that evening Andrew said something to the effect of him not looking so bad after all, I had thought the same thing and told him so. He continues to get cuter and cuter every day!!! Have no fear, I think he is the cutest little man now! 

     ​A short summary of the first week is that it was pretty easy. He didn't really cry much except when we changed his diaper. I say we, because that first week, it was usually a group effort. Speaking of changing diapers. He got me all worried because he took a long time to have his first wet diaper. The doctor said she didn't want to do his circumcision until he could prove he could wet a diaper. It was a big celebration MONDAY night when he had his first soaker. Well, he had a poopy diaper Monday afternoon and then decided he didn't want to have another one until Wednesday. No poop or pee for 2 days... I was a worried mess. After that he's never stopped! Ha! 

         Well I think that's enough details! Next up: 1 Week-1 Month! 

Week 40: Today is Due Date Day!!!

Size of Baby: jackfruit. Who knew there was something bigger than a watermelon. Oh my word. I just googled Jackfruit. What a well-played joke, TheBump, well played.. There is NO WAY I am THAT big. OH there is NO WAY I am pushing something THAT BIG through my hoo-haa. uh uh.

NO.

What's that Babe up to: even the bump doesn't have much to say. Here is what he's doing: getting bigger, growing nails, growing hair, and further developing lungs. Isn't that just dandy.

Symptoms: swelling, lightning bolts down my legs, insomnia, backaches.

Food cravings or aversions: this is such a not-40-weeks-pregnant question
Weight: 198.
Weight gain so far: 50 lbs. of course, I've been as high as 203 but... 
Stretch Marks: yes yes yes

Sleep: I'm just going to leave last week's comment on this up because apparently not everyone has seen it..... Could everyone stop telling me to get as much sleep as I can now because I won't get any after the baby comes? You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea, except that I CAN'T SLEEP and that's all I would like to do, and being told that I won't get any after he's born does NOT make me feel any better. (i'm not actually upset at you for telling me this, and you're not the only one, i know you mean well)
Best moment this week: NOT going to work!!!
Miss Anything: I sure do miss my sleep, and many other things... but sleep is probably #1 right now. I get emails from Lucie's List and this is what she had to say about this:  (The other side is this great place where you can actually tie your shoes without assistance. On the other side... there is SUSHI and soft cheese. And wine, my god, the booze is simply amazing (once it hits your lips, it's so good!), UNCOOKED lunch meat. And hot tubs. Belly sleeping. Dangerous ladder-standing.... did I mention the booze?)  I don't necessarily feel the same way about all these things, but I think it's funny nonetheless. And I want a hot tub.

Movement: yep- just reminding me he's still in there.... in case I forgot...
Maternity Clothes: I have 3 shirts and 2 pants that I prefer to wear. They are all in the wash. Don't picture me right now.....
Belly Button: half and half
Wedding Rings: I miss those too. And I'm nervous they will never fit again....
Looking Forward To: I am really looking forward to some tight pain in my torso. And then I'm looking forward to it happening again 5 minutes later. I kid you not, I am really looking forward to that.... Also, I'm looking forward to seeing what he looks like. Will he have hair? Will it be brown or blonde? Will he have a big nose? little ears? fat cheeks? acne? birthmarks? cross-eyed? I just wonder is all...

Journal:
  First of all, I would like to ask everyone to just calm down a little for me. I understand that you're kind of excited for me to have this baby. Believe it or not, Andrew and I are pretty excited ourselves. Maybe a little anxious, maybe getting a little impatient. But you know what I was thinking today?? I would have a LOT more patience in waiting for this baby if everyone else wouldn't make me feel like he's 3 weeks late already. He's not even late (yet). So when you see me next week, then you can act like you've been acting these last 2 weeks. I know, I know, I brought it upon myself when I had ONE bad day of high blood pressure with swelling and a big weight gain. I know, we all thought he was coming 3 weeks ago when my Dr told me so. But you know what?? Every day since then my blood pressure has been good, my swelling is present but not as severe, no protein in my urine, and the little guy has a happy high heart rate. We are all healthy. We are all ready to meet each other, but no need to get all bent out of shape just because he didn't come EARLY.

That's just how I feel today. And yesterday. However, the day before that and probably tomorrow, I will be thinking.... WHAT THE HECK??!!?! THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS! GET HIM OUT NOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!! Oh wait, yeah that's how I've felt for the last 2 weeks. I've had a change of heart.... no matter if it is just temporary.

Get on outta there!

I have been feeling SOOOO much better since I stopped working. Stress is so exhausting. I used to pride myself in not getting stressed out over things- ask my hygiene school friends! But I tell you what, that job was pushing my limits. Hopefully it was just the combo of the job with my pregnancy and when I go back in 11.5 weeks it won't be so bad. ;)

I have gotten so much done since I stopped working. It's pretty easy to stay on top of laundry and dishes. I made TWELVE different freezer crockpot meals. I made some yummy desserts. Did a ton of grocery shopping. Went for a walk, went for a drive, spent an entire day playing rummy-kub, & watched a ton of Olympics!!! Life has been great.
One thing that I've been planning on doing once I started my maternity leave is CRAFT!!! Sew, paint, glue, etc.... anything! I LOVE to make things and I never find the time to do it while I'm working so I thought for sure that's what I would jump right into once I stopped working. Haven't. done. a. thing. Instead it's spending my day in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, laundry, organizing finances, etc etc. Maybe today will be the day. I think it's because I don't already have something in mind to make. I will be visiting Pinterest later today.

Dude, check out this funny trick I learned while waiting for the shower to get hot...

Suck it in...

And relax...

I can basically make it look like I'm only 30 weeks pregnant!!! haha!!! So far, I am the only one impressed by this. And the only one who thinks it's funny. Anyone on my side? Oh by the way, I hadn't eaten breakfast yet when I did this. Goes to show there is plenty of room in there yet for the little man to swim around. ugh.

SO are you curious what my Dr said this week?? WELL... nothing has changed. I'm still only 1cm dilated. She stripped my membranes again this week, hoping to get my water to break. It was a little more aggressive this time, apparently, since I've been spotting ever since. That's gross. You didn't want to know that. Sorry. Now you do. She told me she still has no plans this week so any day would be great for her. That's nice, me too. Andrew keeps telling me he doesn't want to go to work and so any day would be great for him. That's nice, me too. I FEEL NOTHING. ANYWHO- So today is my due date and she said they generally don't let anyone go more than 1 week late. That's good because I don't want to have my baby in March. (Does anyone remember me saying I didn't want a baby in January? yeah, see we picked February for a reason...) SOO if I don't have the baby by Sunday night, I'm supposed to call Monday morning and we will schedule an induction for next week. She then said, but hopefully you go naturally, because that's just best. Amen. SO my fervent prayer has been that I go into labor naturally. I really don't want to be induced. I also really don't want him to get any bigger. Induction wins over getting bigger. I've mentally prepared myself to make that call Monday morning. I'm planning on being induced. I'm hoping I get a nice surprise. I hope God doesn't see that as doubting the power of my prayers. Maybe ya'll can join me in praying that I go naturally... whenever that may be.

A little trip down memory lane. Twenty weeks is cute. I think that's plenty big enough. 40 just looks awkward.

Week 39: Can you just come now??

Size of Baby: watermelon. I mean really, just look at my belly... obviously huge. Dr said about 8 pounds on Tuesday.

What's that Babe up to: you mean besides not coming out? yeah, he's just getting bigger. that's it. oh wait, and also his nails have probably grown past his fingers. I'm telling you folks, nothing of great significance that can't be done outside the womb. Come meet the world, little one, I'd very much like to see what you look like.
Symptoms: swelling, of course, lightning bolts down my legs, heartburn, insomnia, backaches, a freaking cold.

Food cravings or aversions: still none, but eating whatever I feel like for just a little longer. I just ate mac & cheese and grape juice for breakfast. I mean, it's whatever.
Weight: 199
Weight gain so far: Is that 51 pounds? I think so. I was 196 all week until this morning.... I had a lot to eat last night
Stretch Marks: they are taking over, and they are not pretty. And they have moved down to my thighs now. Which is really cool. I shouldn't complain; it's my own fault for not exercising while pregnant past 20 weeks. 

Sleep: Could everyone stop telling me to get as much sleep as I can now because I won't get any after the baby comes? You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea, except that I CAN'T SLEEP and that's all I would like to do, and being told that I won't get any after he's born does NOT make me feel any better. (i'm not actually upset at you for telling me this, and you're not the only one, i know you mean well)
Best moment this week: Getting to spend more time with Andrew lately... that's my favorite.
Miss Anything: I sure do miss my sleep, and many other things... but sleep is probably #1 right now.

Movement: yes, except now those kicks are a bit more painful... like the walls of my uterus are getting sore.
Maternity Clothes: The wardrobe availability shrinks day by day. Note my belly sticking out of the shirt in the picture?
Belly Button: half and half
Wedding Rings: picked them up last night! Now they are all shiny and sparkly and ready to be worn! I'm quite nervous about them fitting ever again since they aren't even close to fitting..... at all.
Looking Forward To: Why have I not said this before... I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!! today would be great.

Journal:
SO really, I am 39 weeks and 3 days. I don't want to jip myself of those 3 days. I don't want you to think I have a full week until I'm 40 weeks. Because in fact, it's only 4 days until my due date. Do you remember when I said I hope I go late so my mom can come out and also I like those numbers better, etc, etc..... Let me just say that the main reason why my preference on why I'd like to have the little guy out of here as soon as possible is because he ain't no little guy. Every day I don't feel a contraction, this babe is putting on the weight. I am still planning on going naturally, fully, but the idea of pushing out 10 pounds just doesn't get me excited. Can I get some appreciation for that??

Well this week went much like I said it would last week. Worked Monday, came home completely exhausted. Andrew made supper, I ate it, and then laid on the couch the rest of the night. Tuesday, I saw the doctor and she said I still wasn't quite 2cm dilated, but that I was 60% effaced. She "stripped my membranes" to help encourage labor to start... didn't work. She told me to have sex. We listen to what Dr's tell us, but alas, still no labor. Not even false labor. I've felt NOTHING except discomfort. I feel pressure in my abdomen, which people tell me is something, but I'm pretty sure it's just the little guy moving around, or trying to since we are all running out of room to move much.
Wednesday I worked again and was just a slight bit less exhausted afterwards, so Andrew and I kept our plans of going to the Valentine meal the MYF at church put on. It was delightful and delicious. My dear sweet friend at church used to do Reflexology so I asked her to show me where the labor induction areas were and she told me to prop my feet up and she'd work them for me! WOW that hurt.... and again... did not work. :(
Thursday I worked my last day of work for 12 weeks!!!!!!! 12 weeks just doesn't sound very long to me anymore. 40 weeks sounds long, not 12. It was a busy long day where we were understaffed, but everyone seemed to maintain good cheer regardless and it wasn't a bad day at all because of it. After work me and 4 coworkers went across the street to the best Mexican restaurant to celebrate. It was lovely. 

I have an update on my bra-hate. Turns out I'm not a D after all. *phew* I'm just bigger around the bust... I measure at 36 inches, but I'm telling you that 38 is tight, so I think I'm really 40.... ANYWHO... my friend told me I need to get some bra extenders and my problem should be solved! SCORE! I got some this week and tried those bras on again and they magically fit. Well, the Ds are a little big, but apparently that's good for when the milk comes in. Oh boy. I'm ready to be a mom, I'm ready to change diapers, I'm ready to love and snuggle like never before, I'm ready for it.... but I am not excited about the breastfeeding and all the pains that go with that. Ouch. Bring it on, kiddo, let's do this.

So nature and life and my body decided to play a really cruel joke on me this week (I say nature, life and my body because surely, God wouldn't wish this upon me.)  This week I have developed a nasty head cold. My MIL told me this is what happens right before the baby comes, in fact she asked me a couple times before I got sick if I was sick because that meant the baby was coming. I think she wished it upon me. (if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding.) I know plenty of people who did NOT get a cold before their baby came and I would have been just fine being in that category instead. Not just because I'm already in great discomfort and struggling to breathe as it is, and adding a headache, cough, sinus pain, runny noses, congestion, etc to the mix is a terrible thing to suffer through, but HELLO.... the SNEEZES!!!!!!!!!! I sneezed SO MUCH at work this week and every time I'm squeezing.... squeezing so hard.... but alas... I sniss. As if being this huge and waddling around and then all the humbling experiences of childbirth I'm preparing myself for weren't humiliating enough, then I have to pee my pants at work. The one time was so bad... it wasn't just a little bit. I had to excuse myself from my poor patient to "blow my nose" so I could go to the bathroom and attempt to clean up a little. I felt like a 5 year old who peed their pants at school, and unfortunately there were no spare sweatpants to change into. Not cool, kids, not cool.

I did manage to avoid having my water break at work. I daydreamed about that numerous times and how embarrassing that would be. I'm glad I snuck past that. Of course, had that happened, I would have a baby now.....

Well I suppose that's about all I have to say. When I look back at this journal post I will see how negative I became towards the end. Sorry about that. It's true though... I'm ready to move on. Move on or sleep. In fact, in this exact moment I don't care if I could sleep for a solid 5 hours or if I started labor. Either one sounds magical.

Week 38: Ha!

Size of Baby: pumpkin!

What's that Babe up to: has hopefully an inch of hair already! I sure do hope he has hair! Also, he's shedding the white goo on his skin. good thing, cause that's not cute.
Symptoms: oh the swelling with finger numbness on my right hand. Also, the lightning bolts that want to collapse me or paralyze me since the baby is sitting and hitting my nerves.

Food cravings or aversions: nothing, but I did realize last night that my days of having an excuse to eat ice cream at 10:30 at night are numbered... So I enjoyed a nice size bowl before bed.
Weight: 199
Weight gain so far: I lost 4 pounds! ha! I don't know what the problem was last week.
Stretch Marks: they are taking over, and they are not pretty

Sleep: Sunday night and Monday night I slept so good- I only woke up once or twice to pee and I thought, oh maybe God is blessing me with a couple good nights of sleep right before the baby comes! Alas, no baby yet.
Best moment this week: um... getting everything, including our brains, ready for having a baby
Miss Anything: Being able to get a massage while lying on my stomach.

Movement: yes, still enjoying that!!!
Maternity Clothes: I just wish they were longer! And every day I struggle with what pants to wear.
Belly Button: half out, half in. I've investigated this further and that's as far as I think it can physically go, without tearing. oh tearing.... that word makes me cringe.
Wedding Rings: I've decided to wear them on my necklace now so that if they should magically fit after delivery I can put them back on!! I do miss them so...
Looking Forward To: Well, I told Andrew if we don't have this baby this week, that my consolation prize is a trip to Olive Garden. So I'm looking forward to that, since I've convinced myself that he isn't coming any time soon.

Journal:
   Sorry this post is coming to you later than expected.... It's just really not as exciting to write!!! Obviously, my observation on Friday went well, and no baby was to be had since then. How disappointing, yet relieving all at the same time. We have been on a mental rollercoaster it seems for the last week and a half! (it's telling me rollercoaster isn't one word... it should be, so I'm leaving it.) So let's back up and review the last week so I don't forget years from now. I made myself little bullet points to hit on in this blog: Bras, Olive Garden, Appointment, Work, Weather. I know what you're most excited to hear about.

So where did we leave off? Wednesday. Thursday was much the same... spent waddling and aching through work. Friday morning before my appointment I had the feeling my bp was fine and I was going to come straight back home and be disappointed that I got all worked up for a baby to come this week and then my Dr was going to change her mind. That's pretty much exactly what happened. I went to the Women's Center and got all hooked up and took a nap. Of course, every time the BP cuff started going, it startled me awake (they should've videoed me- I'm sure it was funny) and then I anxiously watched as it never went above 130/82.... high for me, but totally acceptable for keeping a baby inside. So I got sent home with instructions to follow up with my Dr on Tuesday as planned. I decided since I had nothing else planned that day I would take my time getting home. So I went to Lefty's Pizza and got the buffet and ate by myself... while I messaged Alexa and Michelle in the booth with my iPad. *sigh. Then I ran some errands- returning more baby things and getting cash money to spend on other baby things instead. Finally I came back home and who knows what happened after that- it was over a week ago. I don't even remember what we did last weekend. Oh Saturday we went to the Stuckey's and played the Farming Game. I've heard references to this game for years now, and I must say- I think you have to grow up with it to really enjoy it.

Sunday after church we ate at the local delicious Mexican hotspot, while people told me they and everyone else ate Mexican right before they had their babies. Didn't work for me. I don't remember what else happened that day. Or Monday- I worked, that's all I know. Wow, I'm really not remembering anything.

Tuesday I had a meeting at work all morning that I skipped out on part of to see my doctor. I was so excited and curious to see if I was dilated more and when she thought I'd have the baby. Well... I didn't score an exam so who knows if I progressed any more, and she was so relieved when she saw me. I wasn't surprised by anything she said, but I can't say I was 100% happy about any of it too. haha, which is funny- because I was perfectly healthy. I lost 4 pounds since the week before (when I had gained 8) I was much less swollen, my urine tests were all good (even with a donut for breakfast!!) and my BP was 130 something over 80 something. So we talked about vaccines and tests and IVs and all that great stuff. She said I made her nervous last week but that she still didn't think I would make it much past my due date. Yep. She said that. Um.... recap: last week she told me she wasn't about to let me go to my due date. Now this week, she tells me I won't go much PAST it. Seriously???? Come on... Hence the rollercoaster Andrew and I have been on this week. "baby's coming any day!!!" "baby won't be here for at least 2 weeks!!" ugh. I mean, really- I know there isn't a huge rush- He's healthier the longer he's in there, my parents get back from Argentina on Wednesday, being induced is harder labor than going naturally, yadda yadda yadda........ Also- the longer he's in there, the bigger he gets. Helloooooo.

Back to that IV mention... You'll remember I'm terrified of such things. I had a kind friend tell me that I was going to get an IV no matter what. I asked the doc about this and she said that I don't HAVE to have an IV no matter what, but that since she's never delivered any of my babies (funny, since I don't have any), she would like to at least have a hep-lock just in case of an emergency and if things go great this time, maybe next time I won't need one. I suppose I can concede to that. I'm learning to be a big girl every day. 

So I went back to work then on Tuesday and finished off the day. The next day we were supposed to get a big snow storm (which, of course, we did) so we had a bunch of people cancelling. So our lovely front desk people moved my schedule around and gave me the day off. Lots of people ended up with the day off, but at least mine was planned so I didn't have to worry/wonder in the morning! Thursday I went back to work but people were still cancelling so I only worked the morning. It was a wretched morning that I would like to never repeat nor even talk about so all I will say is, Praise the Lord I'm pregnant and got to leave in the morning. I came home and took off my bra and put on my sweats and took a couple back to back hour naps. It was just what I needed.

Since I've mentioned it twice now... I have recently acquired a disdain for bras. I hate them. Truly, I do. In fact, I don't even like boobs anymore. Not that I really loved them before, but I had nothing against my nice little ones. Now they are big, and I can't seem to find any bras that fit them. They cut into my ribs and make me so sore I want to scream. I hate them. Remember how I said I bought a nursing bra a while ago and it was too small?? Well I ordered 3 more online that were much bigger.... they are too small. I tell you my weight, so really, do you mind if I tell you my boob size? Pre-pregnancy I was a 32/34 barely B. I am now the owner of a 38D that is too small. TOO SMALL??!?!?! Did I seriously grow 7 inches around my bust along with the giant boobs?????!??! I understand many of you have started out with Ds, but seriously. When you've been an A and B all your life, D is really huge, along with wearing 32s and 34s and having 38s be way too tight. I'm told that they will be getting bigger, then smaller, then disappear (can't wait), and that I should keep all these nursing bras because eventually they may fit. What do I do between now and then???? I suffer another week or 2 or whatever, then my sister anonymous friend will lend me her jumbo ones to get me by. I hate bras. and I hate boobs. and yes, I realize all the men in my life love and will love them. That does not convince me they are worth it.

Moving on.... last weekend when we were at the Stuckey's there was an Olive Garden commercial on for a 2 for $25 meal deal thingy-do. It looked sooooooo yummy that I declared to Andrew that if we don't have a baby this week we are going to Olive Garden next weekend as a consolation prize. Well! Last night we went and wow.... that was the most AMAZINGLY delicious meal I've enjoyed in a while. The beauty of it is, I couldn't finish it and I get to enjoy leftovers today!!! Just saying, this little boy has a lot to live up to now. ;)
Andrew had put together a perfectly planned evening last night. We are getting a second washer since our current HE washer doesn't always get our clothes clean. We are cloth diapering. There will be poop involved. Our washer NEEDS to get ALL the clothes clean. So we are getting a non-HE one to use just for the diapers. I think it puts everyone's mind at ease. So last night we were going to go pick that up, then go to Olive Garden, then hop over to the mall to drop off my rings to get all shined up for when I can get them on my finger again, and spend a free $10 at JCPenney. We planned on leaving as soon as Andrew got home from work. I was actually ready to go when he got home and we were about to leave when he got a text from the person selling us the washer (Craigslist) saying there was a family emergency and tonight wouldn't work afterall. UGH. So waded in our misery of our evening's plans disintegrating, tried to rescue it several times, both of us were getting/staying grumpy.... Finally we decided we would just go to Olive Garden anyway, and Andrew would take the truck to pick up the washer another day. Oh, for those not local... Olive Garden is in Toledo- about an hour away. That's also where the washer was. We don't go to Toledo all that often, since it's an hour away (yes, I realize for some of you that's not very far) and now we are going to have to go twice, instead of hitting it all up in one trip. The evening didn't really redeem itself until we got our main dishes. AMAZING. And the leftovers that I'm enjoying right now are almost just as amazing. Anyway- everything always works itself out, we just need to be flexible when things don't go as planned. haha.... that sounds like advice my sister some wise lady was telling me last week about my childbirth plans...... lesson learned.

Finally, I should mention the weather this year. We have had 3 separate occasions of Level 3 emergencies- instances where due to weather we are not permitted to drive on the roads. As in, this has been one heck of a winter where the snow and cold have been incredible!!! Many people are tired of it, and ready for Spring, but for once- I am loving it all.... hello, who knew you could get snow days as an adult?!?! This is fun!!! The snow is piled up super-high and the winds just make it that much higher. I do hate the wind. But really, only when I have to be outside. Otherwise, let it blow and drift and keep us all snowed in. :) I say this because we have a nice warm house, and no need to leave. Of course.... we will have a need to leave and hopefully when we are going to the hospital it's not one of the bad days. The temperatures have dipped well below zero, with the coldest being -40 with the windchill factored in. I heard this past storm was the most snowfall we had- which was somewhere between 9-12 inches. **update: I just heard we have gotten 67 inches of snow this winter so far! That's the most since 1981/82!!**  I tried to take some pictures today of our place, but I don't know that it will really show much. Anyway, little baby..... it's been a cold, hard, real winter this year, and it hasn't been like this in quite a few years!!! :)

This coming week will probably be much like the past weeks: I work Monday, Dr Tuesday, with NO WORK  on Tuesday, not even the afternoon!!! score!!! and then I work Wednesday, and maybe Thursday if patients get added to the schedule. My parents get home on Wednesday so we can talk via phones again and not cross our fingers they have internet provided where they are!!! Full moon is on Valentine's day- Friday- so who knows... maybe next weekend will be the lucky time. The glory of next week is that it is my LAST week of work. I am starting my maternity leave on the 17th, so even if I am forced to wait ANOTHER week, at least I won't have the stress of work to bog me down. score.

Ok, is there any way that the person who just did our health info gathering for life insurance will read this blog? I hope not. And if so, I do sincerely apologize, please forgive me, and I will forever be embarrassed. hahahaha! But this story is just too good not to share. So Andrew and I are getting life insurance. I got a call earlier this week to see if today would work to do the blood work, height & weight and all that good stuff. So I told Andrew that a guy was going to be coming on Saturday right after lunch and to make sure he's home. Well today the guy calls because our address doesn't like GPSes since our address is different than our county... it's weird, I know, but trust me. So I'm giving him directions and when I hang up I told Andrew that he really sounds like Randy on Say Yes to the Dress. Like identical. If he would have walked up to our door, I wouldn't even have been surprised. Andrew didn't know who that was, so I tried to explain. Well the van pulls in the driveway.... and a lady steps out. WHAT?! hahahaha! Andrew thought I was the most ridiculous person in the world so after the kind lady left, I brought up a clip of Randy from Say Yes to the Dress and had him close his eyes. I'm telling you, she sounds IDENTICAL to him. All this time I thought she was a man, and now I'm wondering if I ever said anything that would have tipped her off. I sure hope not.....

My favorite maternity shirt needed photographed. So much more flattering than that white tank!!!

My outfit for church tomorrow. Sorry it's blurry. Funny thing is- that is a misses dress size small... that has now become a size large maternity tunic! ha! love it. maternity dresses when you are this huge are just plain hideous.

See you next week.

Week 37: Ready or not!!!

Size of Baby: winter melon. whatever that is... he's full term!!!

What's that Babe up to: practicing inhaling & exhaling.. and apparently he needs the practice since he gets the hiccups EVERY DAY! also practicing sucking, gripping, and blinking!!! Cool.
Symptoms: ankle, foot, and hand swelling... to the extremes. Also back pain, sciatic pain, shoulder pain. On a positive note... my arches don't bother me NEAR like they used to!!!!! I think it's because they are so swollen....

Food cravings or aversions: nada
Weight: 203
Weight gain so far: There it is folks.. I've reached 200 and beyond. That's 55 lbs gained so far. Anyone remember what it was 2 weeks ago??? (more on that below)
Stretch Marks: definitely earning my stripes.

Sleep: it is what it is. and it isn't great.
Best moment this week: My doctor checkup on Tuesday.
Miss Anything: my ankles, my hands, my sleep. Being able to get a massage while lying on my stomach.

Movement: he's an active little guy.... still kicking my ribs
Maternity Clothes: most of them don't fit anymore....
Belly Button: half out, half in
Wedding Rings: no way
Looking Forward To: Friday when I get checked again!

Journal:

Oh boy... He is coming soon. But before we get to my exciting dr appt, let's back up to last Friday. Andrews and I went on a little "we're about to be parents date." First we went to Target to make a return and pick up some other things. I found myself a button down sleep shirt for the hospital, a nursing tank top, and a nursing bra. Of course I didn't feel like trying it on at the store so once we got home I tried it on and wowza.... Too small. I obviously have no idea how big my boobs actually are. Oops. Well anyway, after Target we ate a delicious dinner at Texas Roadhouse... Andrews favorite, and definitely one of my top restaurants. Then..... We went to Babies R Us. We were given some gift cards for there, and had some returns to make. So we made the returns, got it all loaded on the gift cards and went shopping! We got lots of little necessities, and a high chair and a swing. It was SO fun. I'm so glad Andrew was there to help make decisions. He also kept track of our spending. We had it almost to the cent of the gift card balance when we went to check out. But then I also had some KILLER coupons! So we ended up still having money left over. I couldn't believe it. We had just bought an overfilled cart full of supplies and we didn't pay for a dime of it. We felt so incredibly blessed. I know that is not the case for so many people... Babies are expensive, and I'm not saying we won't be spending a lot of our own money the rest of this kids life, but what a blessing to have the start up with so much help! So.... THANK YOU! We are so grateful to all our friends and family who have helped us out so much. Praise The Lord!

I should tell the mobile story... Or do I want to forget it.... Hmm... Nah. So after we finished at the register, Andrew went outside to get it all loaded into the car, and I asked about ordering a mobile that I had registered for that wasn't in the store. It was a cute mobile... Circus animals with pennants and everything. So I go to the registry desk and she looks it up online first. Their internet was SUPER SLOW. Amazingly slow. Finally it comes up and she can't order it online either. So then she checks to see if other stores have it. ONE store has ONE in stock. I was like shoot! Let's get it! So she called the store and after what must have been a billion rings someone answered. She told them about it and said to make sure it's the right one, and that I was going to place a phone order for it. Then she had to explain what a phone order was because the lady on the phone was clueless. This was taking forever and I think it was about this time that Andrew texted me from the car... Ok let's go! So then I get the phone to give her my address. She didn't understand an address on a state route. She's like so I can put st r 2? I was like uh sure, you can do state route 2 (just like I said) or you can put st rt 2 or you can even do s r 2... It all works. Oh... And I said the 5 numbers of our house like 5 times REALLY  slow. Painfully slow. Had to spell my town name (which is understandable) but really slow, and my zip.... REALLY slow.....ly.  It was so painful then she said she was going to go up to the register and put me on hold. I was on hold for what seemed like forever and then she comes back on and asked for the gift card number and pin so I gave that to her pausing between each number for 2 seconds, then she says ok I'm going to go up to the register now. I'm thinking what?!?!?! Why are you not there already? What have you been doing?!  So back on hold and Andrews freaking out from the car and the kind associate I was with at the store said she could finish the order or me so I could go. Bless her soul. So I left. Andrew said he was waiting in the car for 35 minutes for this order. Ok let me say this too... The mobile was originally $75. It was on sale for $16. Our gift card was for almost the exact amount. It was the only mobile I found online that I really liked. I couldn't order it from home, so it was then or never. Or both..... My phone rings as we are on the way home and it's the SLOW lady from the other store saying the connection was lost with the store we were just at but she realized that it wasn't the same mobile. It was a completely different one and the best she could do for me was give me 15% off. The $75 price. Are you freaking kidding me. No. I don't want that mobile. No not with 15% off either. Yes cancel the order. Yes completely, I don't want that mobile with teddy bears on it. What. A. Waste. Of.  Time. So needless to say, we will not have a mobile for the crib. Which is just fine. 

That was a long story. Lisa and Meghan would probably say it's in typical Brittany fashion. Sorry about that. ;)

Ooook. So Saturday comes with another snow storm so my MIL didn't come over to help me get things done around the house and Andrew was in Indiana for a tool sale so I just did little things here and there and took naps and such like. Sunday, church was closed and Andrew and I had a real snow day to ourselves! He stayed inside with me all day long. This is quite the rarity. In fact, the only time I can remember that happening! Haha! It was a fun day. Then Monday we had another snow day, but he wasn't about to stay inside 2 days in a row. I got the other side of the room with the nursery cleaned up... That would be my craft room/guest room... And that felt nice to finish. Or almost finish. 

And that brings us to Tuesday.....

But first... I want to share what was going through my head all week and especially Tuesday morning. I knew I was getting my group b strep test on Tuesday and I read that if you have it, all it means is that you get an antibiotic when you're delivering. No biggie. Um.... That's an IV antibiotic. I am terrified of needles, and an IV is seriously something I'd love to go my whole life without. I had one when I got my 3rd molars out but it knocked me out so much I couldn't freak out about it. I would have to be awake and moving if I got this antibiotic IV! Seriously, it's the moving part. If they could stick me  and I could ignore it and not move a muscle so I forget it's there I would be fine. But if I have to move my arm with something sticking out of it.... Oh lordie..... Makes me sick. Ok now you understand my fear there. Well that was one fear. Then you all know about my fear of needing a cesarean. Which, btw, really brought out a lot of comments and encouragement from people who have had them. I give you all a HUGE thank you for your kind words and your assurance that it is nothing to be feared. I appreciate that so much. I still fear it more than an IV, though, and I'm sure that's nothing to be feared either. As you've seen my swelling has also gotten much worse... Side note.... I was just sitting cross legged on my bed and had to move because my foot was falling asleep wherever my legs and ankles crossed is now a huge indentation... And I can see and feel my bones!! They are still there! But moving all that fluid elsewhere is quite painful, so now that hurts. Haha! Ok back to fears. My swelling is continually getting worse and I started worrying about pre-eclampsia. My dr hasn't been concerned about my swelling at all stating that she's keeping an eye on it. Well then I'm watching Downton Abbey and poor Cybil (sp?) dies of eclampsia. I didn't really know what it was but the I saw it. So I ask my friend about pre-eclampsia since she's a nurse and she had it.... She was rested  and monitored and eventually induced and given an epidural to keep her bp low. Ooooooooooook..... Now if I don't like IVs, imagine my feelings towards an epidural needle. NO THANK YOU! 

So Tuesday morning I'm having my usual FaceTime chats with my sister and her daughters and I start telling her all about these fears. This sister of mine is a problem solver. Sometimes I really really appreciate that about her. She will literally always come up with ways to solve my problems. If you are like me, you realize that sometimes you don't want your problem solved, you want someone to just listen to your problems and let them be. More recently, I've appreciated the problem solving more... Well, she kept crossing off my fears like they were nothing to be feared and I'll be fine and I won't care about anything except getting that baby out of me etc etc..... So I had to back her up. Sister. First, when you're trying to help someone with their fears you can't just cross them off like a list.... You have to first acknowledge that they are real fears! So then she re-evaluated her problem solving and came up with a much more pleasing solution to me. She said to write them all on post its and put them somewhere visible. Then they are still there if they need to be worried about. (She was saying that I was borrowing trouble.) and then if it became a valid fear, like... You have group b strep, or you have pre-eclampsia, or you're going to need a c section, then you have have the post it and worry about it then. Or if you find out you don't..... Then you can throw it away! I didn't end up doing any of this, but I liked the idea. It calmed me down. 

Now, back to Tuesday morning....

I ran out of my homemade reduced sugar granola for breakfast and all I had was peanut butter cocoa puffs and raisin bran for cereals, which is what I typically have. But the raisin bran made me fail my urine test the last time and I wasn't in the mood to be stabbed so I knew I had to eat a good breakfast. So I made a scrambled egg, toast, PLAIN yogurt, and two peach slices. I am still so proud of that breakfast. I've never eaten so balanced so early in the morning. Protein, dairy, fruit, and carb. 

Bravo, I passed my urine test that day! I was so pleased. However...... The other two things they check every time were less than stellar. That would be my weight, and my blood pressure.

I gained 8 lbs in 2 weeks. Apparently my doctor thought that was a little much, especially this late in the game. Especially since my swelling was also more severe. Especially since my bp was 142/90 or something like that, and I was sweating like a fat monkey. It's been really high like that before but when they recheck it it's way low again... Well she rechecked it again and it was higher. Oh boy. So she talked to me about pre-eclampsia and said that once you start getting it you can't really do anything about it except deliver the baby. Uhhhh..... Will I need a c section? Nope, we will just induce you to get things going. Ok, leave that post it for an emergency but definitely not holding on to it now. Clutching that pre-eclampsia post it with my fat fists... Totally forgot about the antibiotic IV post it. Ohhhh btw..... I am 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Ok.... After she told me what that means and then with the bp thing and the induction, I'm thinking... Wait a second here..... What's going on. So she tells me that she's going to send me down to the women's center (where I will deliver) to be monitored to see if my bp comes down. I said what does it mean if it does and if it doesn't? She said, if it doesn't come down we will induce you and get you a baby. Um. *raised eyebrows to the roof* ooooooook? Oo that's exciting... I could have a baby today! Then I said ok so if it comes down, and everything is fine, is it still a possibility that I will go late? (I asked bc my sister warned me that even if I was dilated that doesn't mean he's coming soon, people are dilated for weeks) and she definitely not. Then I asked if she thought I would make it to my due date... The 19th? She said no... I will get him out of there before then.... I'm hoping to get another week out of you. And then that was it. End of appointment. Um. Um. Um. Wait what is today? January 28th?!? Nooo... That's too early. I don't want a January baby. Shoot. No. That's too early.... Mom won't be back for 2 more weeks! 2 more weeks and she wants one more out of me? Nooooo that means mom isn't going to be here!!!!!! I need more post-its!!!!! 

Soon my way to the women's center I call Andrew and tell him he better get ready to be a dad. Freaked him out a little, since he wasn't.... And filled him in. Texted my sister and she said I guess you can grab that post it.... I didn't tell her I made more. Jk as I was laying on the bed all hooked up I let go of almost all those post its... I felt good that my dr didn't know about any of them.... She will still think I'm flexible and easy going. Because when it comes down to it... If she says you're going to need an IV I won't even say a word, except to the nurse when I tell her I'm afraid of needles so just do it and don't talk about it. If she says I know you don't want an epidural but you either need that or a c section I will say ok give it to me. If she says we're going to have to do a c section to get him out of there or you or he will die, I will say get him out let's do this. I don't generally ever question authority.... To their faces. So I will seem very tough and easy going. Ha! Anyway. Obviously you didn't hear about a baby so my bp came down.

Work on Wednesday was significantly harder... Things are changing.... And I found it quite difficult to walk, and impossible without a waddle. It appears the office is trying to wean me out, since I'm only working a half day today. I'm so ok with that. 

I go back to the women's center on Friday to get monitored again. I assume it will be the same situation. If it's normal I will go back home and sing praises that I won't be having a January baby, and if it's high, Andrew will scurry on over and we will get the little guy out of me and into the world. *pardon me here, as I have yet another freak out moment.* Then I'll have another dr appt on Tuesday and get rechecked and see what happens next! Haha of course, for some reason we have a very important office meeting on Tuesday morning and I have patients in the afternoon.... So I guess I have to try to move that dr appt to not miss the meeting, and move my pts to the other hygienists.... Wouldn't it be funny if I went to that meeting that I apparently can't miss, then go to the dr and be told hey  you're gonna have a baby today (or tomorrow). That would be funny.

So needless to say, Tuesday night Andrew and I kicked our butts in high gear and finished packing our hospital bags and got the car seat bases installed in each of our cars and the car seat in mine. I made my quick grab list of things that I still use every day but want in the hospital too, and every time I leave the house I leave prepared to go to the hospital. I thought I had 3 more weeks.... I guess this little guy didn't want to listen and wait for his grandma and grandpa to come back in the country...

Aren't you excited to see what my 38 week post says?!?! Who knows, maybe everything will be fine and I'll go to 39 weeks. That would be great... Mom and dad come home at 39 weeks. :)

Week 36: He Dropped!

Size of Baby: honeydew... 6-7 lbs

What's that Babe up to: being big and getting bigger!
Symptoms: ankle, foot, and hand swelling. Still having bloody noses, back pain, sciatic pain, shoulder pain.

Food cravings or aversions: nothing... Although my appetite has greatly diminished since my stomach must be squished! I stared at my burger and corn casserole for a good 15 minutes before I had the energy and desire to eat it. I almost finished it..
Weight: 195
Weight gain so far: 47 lbs
Stretch Marks: yeppers, and getting more!

Sleep: Not QUITE as bad this week, since Andrew and I started sleeping in separate beds again... makes me sad, but it's just more practical!
Best moment this week: taking TWO baths!!!
Miss Anything: my ankles, my hands, my sleep. Being able to get a massage while lying on my stomach.

Movement: he's an active little guy....
Belly Button: half out, half in
Wedding Rings: no way
Looking Forward To: My Dr appt on Tuesday when I get to see if I'm "progressing" at all!

Journal:
Last weekend we had our communications class in Indy, which went very well, but my favorite part of the trip was the fact that we had a bathtub in our hotel room. We somehow ended up getting an upgrade to the VIP floor with access to the VIP lounge where we had free drinks and snacks and such like. It was a pregnant woman's dream. But the bathtub was still better. It was just a normal small sized one but for someone who never gets to sit in a tub it was quite luxurious!!! The second night I was so tired I fell asleep while soaking. I loved it. I need a bathtub in my life.

Sunday night was probably the worst night of sleep yet, for both of us. I woke up just an hour after going to bed and then proceeded to wake up EVERY HOUR or more. Andrew also woke up most of those times too. I just felt funny, the baby was moving funnily, and I couldn't get comfortable... not to mention the times I had to pee too. (Monday night I started sleeping in the spare bed, which is going much better.) Monday morning I got up to go to work and still felt different, like more stiff and sore and just.... different. It hit me once I was walking waddling at work, why everything was different... THE BABY DROPPED!!! Oh he sure did. I feels like I'm carrying a bowling ball super-low. I can actually feel space around my ribs, not just a hard baby. I don't run out of breath when I'm talking and eating as much as I used to run out of breath. My ribs are still sore, but they are constantly being attacked like they were before. So wonderful. However.... now I have hip and pelvis soreness, sciatic pain shooting down my leg that temporarily paralyzes (or collapses) me, and my lower back has become more sore with sharper pain. I take it all as to mean, we must be getting closer... he's getting ready to come out the right way.

I'm still afraid of having to have a C-section. OH MY... I almost forgot. Sunday night's sleep/lack there of  included a NIGHTMARE to process. I had a dream that Andrew and I went to the hospital and that was the last thing I remembered. I came out of my coma at home and realized I wasn't pregnant anymore. I asked in a panic if I had a c-section. I told him I didn't remember anything and that he had to tell me everything. Then I asked him if they fixed my knee (?) while I was out and I pulled up my pants to see a bar sticking out of my bones, holding it at a 90 degree angle. I started freaking out and told him he better tell me everything that happened. I did indeed have a c-section and the baby did not make it. Then I woke up. Tell me this, how do you have a good day when you have a restless night of sleep topped off with a dream that your baby died during a caesarean. It took lots of praise songs and prayers to get me to work that day.

Let's discuss my swelling once more. It's gotten progressively worse. My feet and hands are the worst, and my shins are even showing some pitting edema as well. How exciting. I like to take pictures of the swelling and post them online so everyone can see how gross my body is becoming. It's humorous to me. However, I've realized it's caused quite a concern for some who see it.... especially those in the medical profession. Rest assured, my blood pressure is good, and minimal protein is showing in my urine. My doctor is aware of the swelling and of everyone's concerns, but she has assured me that it is fine, and we will keep an eye on it at each appointment. Something tells me I should take that picture of my foot along.... just in case she's not realizing the fullness of the swelling.... no pun intended. ha! My hand swelling has caused carpal tunnel in my right hand, which as a hygienist is quite unfortunate. I have no feeling in the fingertips of my right hand, except my pinky, which is, of course, the only finger I don't use for work. I rely heavily on my ultrasonic scaler to remove most everything, since my tactile sensitivity is not up to snuff when it comes to handscaling. I used to wear size Small gloves. I moved up to Mediums a little while ago, but my right hand started cramping in those, so now I'm in Large gloves for my right hand. They had to be special ordered... I officially have the biggest hands of the office. In fact, I think I have the biggest EVERYTHING 

my swollen hand: engagement ring cutting off circulation to pinky finger!

trying to show how swollen my hands are. 

pretty obvious how swollen my feet are!

Week 35: So sore, so done.

Size of Baby: coconut... a really big one

What's that Babe up to: being big.
Symptoms: ankle, foot, and hand swelling... carpal tunnel in my right hand. still have bloody noses and sleepless nights

Food cravings or aversions: none
Weight: 195.
Weight gain so far: 47 lbs. woooo  weeee! 
Stretch Marks: sure do! did I mention they appeared in one day?

Sleep: not getting much at night, naps are a necessity!
Best moment this week: washing and folding my baby's clothes. Don't think this was a bad week because that was my highlight..... that truly was exciting. OH WAIT... no- getting the nursery all set up with the changing table, dresser, and all that... THAT was the best moment... walking up the stairs after it was all placed just so and the big feeling of joy and satisfaction it brought to my heart.
Miss Anything: my ankles, my hands.

Movement: oh yes, i love feeling the little feet sticking out.... except when they are in my ribs, of course
Belly Button: partially out!
Wedding Rings: no way
Looking Forward To: my next appointment when I get to see if I'm "progressing" at all...

so big, I have to layer the tanks!

This past week I had another doctor appointment. I had the same nurse I had that time I failed the urine test. She must be bad luck (though she's my favorite) because I failed my urine test again. My blood sugar was 115 which she said wasn't terrible. This time my breakfast of choice was 2 bowls of Raisin Bran. Curse the processed cereals!! (I actually made my own granola later that day in protest.) I told the nurse that I thought Raisin Bran would be better than Lucky Charms (the culprit last time) and her and the Dr. got a good kick out of that. (I was being serious, but apparently that's funny.) Anyway- my BP was also high initially: 144/78. After she poked my finger she took it again and it was 102/70. Seems to me that's a pretty big change- that little finger prick must have released a lot of pressure! (I kid-- I know that's not how it works) Anyway- my doctor comes in with a med student and the first thing I asked was- "Am I going to have a big baby?" I asked because of my sugar. She just laughed. I looked a the student and said- "She's laughing, that means yes." She then said it's a good possibility. After measuring my belly she said the number (I don't remember what it was) and I asked what that meant, and she said without hesitation, "That he's big." UGH. His heart rate was high and eventually settled down to 142. Maybe he doesn't like being called big. I kid again. I told her my pulse is always at least 100 (normal is 60-100) even at rest, so maybe he gets it from me. Is a fast pulse a sign of being really out of shape?? I wonder... So anyway.... I made some whines about not wanting a big baby and that I was big. I was 9lb 3oz. chubba wubba. My doctor said I should expect to have a 9-10 pound baby. I gave her some nasty looks and said I don't want a C-section. She assured me that I didn't have to have one, but that we might get an ultrasound later on to see just how big he is. Do I really want to know??? My prayer has now become- LORD, please give me a long baby with a small head. We ended the appointment talking about cloth diapers and wipes and I appreciated the support and excitement she shared with me on that. It was a good appointment, even if slightly disheartening. Oh! and by the way, she is unconcerned about my massive swelling... mainly because my blood pressure is good (?) and my urine is free from protein (except for a little, which she said was normal) She also said she would be more concerned if there was swelling in my face. HELLO! my face is HUGE! Have you seen my nose lately?!? haha! Apparently, it's not as obvious to her as it is to me. That's ok. I'm glad everything is still ok. Someday I will have ankles again. :)

doesn't even show it's true nastiness

BTW, this twitching in my stomach is really annoying..... Oh right, that's my little boy with the hiccups. Bet he learned that from me! Should I try to scare him? hehe

So I saved a list of things you should have for your baby a long time ago and recently came across it. Nice timing, I know. So I printed it out and took inventory of all the things we have. Let me just tell you... lists are nice. Sometimes you forget obvious things. Like pants, for instance. Apparently our child needs to wear pants, and not just cute onesies. Nice reminder, since all I have are cute onesies, and NO pants! haha! It's not like it will be the dead of winter when he's born... oh wait, yes it is. Lists are good. They should never be underestimated in their power. :) I went to Goodwill and bought 15 items of clothing for the little guy.... I think about 7 pants. Did I mention that my doctor instructed me to not buy any newborn clothes or diapers? How terribly sad. Those clothes are just so much cuter the smaller they are! I guess a potentially good outcome could be that we use our cloth diapers sooner if they fit sooner! haha!

A friend at church stated that I for sure dropped in the last week. I laughed and said, I surely did not! He still feels like he's sitting on top of my belly squishing my ribs and making me lose my breath way too easily. It doesn't feel like he's dropped. A source did tell me that this is the week he may drop. I hope he does- I'd like to breathe again, even if I do have to pee more. Then I thought today- my doctor felt his head and she was feeling really low... maybe he did drop.... AND HE'S JUST LONG?!?!?!?! That would be amazing.... with a small head. I still don't think so, but I'll ask her at my next appointment. I wish I had one every week now, but since I always go the day before my new week, I have to wait 2 weeks one more time. I go the 28th and then every week after that... I think he's coming soooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okie Dokie... My shoulder is SCREAMING to go to bed, so I shall listen. Tomorrow I leave with my office team to take a class on communication in Indy this weekend. I'm not particularly looking forward to the drive and discomfort of not my home, but do enjoy hotels and eating out, so... shouldn't be too bad! :) I packed some epsom salts, hoping for a soak in the bathtub!!!!!!! (I promise, I won't make it too hot, as tempting as that would be)

Goodnight!