The First 6 Weeks: 5 Things I Wasn't Expecting After Having a Baby

6 Weeks

Size of Corbin: at one month he was up to 11lb 6 oz and 23 1/2 inches long. Since he's 6 weeks old now, I'm sure he's MUCH bigger

Corbin's new skills: He holds his head up really good, but he's done really good at that since he was born!

What's that chunker eating: His favorite booby milk. Corbin eats on average about every 3 hours for about 15-20 minutes. He takes one bottle a day of breastmilk to get him geared up for when I go back to work... boo. He's usually pretty good with the bottle, but sometimes half of it leaks down his chin. He doesn't seem to mind. (usually)

Getting any sleep: Corbin goes about 6 hours through the night followed by 3-4 more hours after that so I can sleep til 7-8:00. :) During the day he sleeps for about 1-2 hours every 3 hours. My sleep is SOOOOO much better than when I was pregnant!!! I usually go to bed around 10ish and get up once or twice to feed Corbin before I'm ready to get up around 8. It's so marvelous! Of course, once I go back to work I'll have to stop going back to bed after that early morning feeding. boo.

Weight: 175
Weight loss so far: 25 pounds!

Best moment this week: Since we're playing catch up... I would say that first week was probably my favorite. I was so overwhelmed with love that my soreness didn't bother me. Corbin was awesome, very rarely cried and slept awesomely.... I had to wake him up to feed him! More on that later... But this past week, the best moment? hmm... getting my diapers to stop leaking was nice. Also, being able to go outside and go for some walks in the park with my darling babe.
Miss Anything: knowing how to dress.

Wedding Rings: I've been wearing my fake band so I look married, which was a first step, since even that didn't fit at the end! I've gotten my real band on with some effort and would have left it on if I could have gotten my diamond on. Since they are both so nice and shiny I don't want to dull the band before I can wear the diamond. I wasn't able to get that on, which is, I think, a half size smaller than my band. I do wonder if I'll every be able to get it back on. Perhaps when I start losing weight with exercise...
Looking Forward To: being able to exercise so I can wear my clothes again!!!!

Journal:

    I would like to start off with some things I wasn't expecting after having a baby.

1. I was expecting my hooha to be sore for a while after pushing a large body through it, but I was NOT expecting my tailbone to be so sore. In fact, my hooha didn't even hurt hardly at all- just my tailbone! Unfortunately, it STILL hurts, 6 weeks later. I have a friend who also had back labor and tailbone pain following her delivery. I asked her the day how long she had it and she said it still hurts her sometimes. Her baby is 9 months old. NOT COOL!!! I am planning to see the chiropractor to see if anything can be done about that. I just need to call and make an appointment!!! (which is a big deal, if you don't know me.)

2. The day after Corbin was born I realized that my biceps were extremely sore.... like I had done a serious arm workout the day before. I mean really, my whole body felt like I had just run a marathon, and it took me a little to realize why my arms were so sore. It wasn't because I was holding him so much... It was from pulling so hard on those handlebars when I was pushing!!! Yikes.

3. Another thing that was sore the next day was my jaw!  Monday morning it was so sore that I couldn't open it the whole way. As the day went on it got progressively worse. I could no longer eat hard foods, or big foods since I could barely open. I had to shove food between my teeth to get it in. This has since gotten better but unfortunately I still can't open it the whole way. I was definitely NOT expecting it to last this long either! At first I just assumed that I must have been clenching really bad the night before like I do sometimes. I have a nightguard to wear but didn't take it to the hospital and hadn't worn it for a while before when I was pregnant. Usually when my jaw is sore in the morning it gets all better by the next day or so. I don't remember if it was Monday or Tuesday night when I realized why it was still so sore. It was also from when I was in labor! I re-enacted my yelling while telling Corbin's birth story for someone and I jutted my jaw out and WOW that hurt! Still does. So I think it's from being so tense from the pain and I was clenching and jutting my jaw. Bad idea. I was also a little hoarse Sunday and Monday from the yelling. hehehe

4. Ok, this next one, I admit, I was warned about. My friend told me how her hooha smelled so awful after she had her baby. She told me this while I was still pregnant and I responded with, "Yeah, mine already smells wretched!" Which it did! But I tell you what, this is an entirely different kind of smell and it is WAY worse. I guess it's from a pH imbalance. I am very ready for things to balance themselves out because honestly.... it's embarrassingly AWFUL!

5. Finally, I did not think about how hard it would be to dress a post-partum body. I enjoyed dressing my pregnant body because it was fun to show my little then big belly! The great thing is, other people thought it was cute too! The last week or 2 before he was born is the exception because I was getting so big by that point that the cute clothes weren't fitting anymore. Anyway.... the very large majority of my maternity wardrobe was borrowed from my sisters' collection. (that's not a grammatical error, Courtney... there were 2 sisters, one collection.) Well, my sister is pregnant now so I had to give her all those large clothes. That left me with only a couple larger shirts that I had bought early on in my pregnancy and my pre-pregnancy clothes. Before I was pregnant, I had a flat stomach and small boobs. I bought small and medium shirts and usually they showed my flat stomach. Relatively speaking, my boobs are HUGE now and I have a hideous pooch on my stomach that I've never had before, and therefore have no idea how to dress it!!! My shirts are all too tight and/or too short since my larger chest makes them shorter. I am far from comfortable with letting my pooch be seen by anyone other than my husband (i don't even like that!) so I basically don't have any clothes I'm comfortable wearing. We are trying to save money while I'm not working and since we have some nice big bills to be paid, so I wasn't sure about going shopping for new clothes but it had to be done. I got 3 new shirts and 3 new pants. I feel comfortable in those clothes, and my yoga pants and that's about it! So if you see me wearing the same 3 outfits, now you know why! 

Tomorrow is my 6 week appointment with my doctor. I'm kind of excited for it. I'm assuming she is going to tell me that I am cleared to exercise to my heart's content. I have never been so excited to exercise before! It has been SO long since I've done anything other than walk. I hate running, so don't expect that out of me. But Jillian and Shaun T and I have lots of dates that we're anticipating! I've never actually exercised to try to lose weight and inches before. It's always just been to feel better about myself and to not feel guilty about my eating habits. I really hope that it isn't the hardest thing ever to lose the weight and inches. I've been trying to eat better since I'm nursing. My snacks are usually greek yogurt, hard boiled eggs, celery with peanut or almond butter, and banana/pb/choc chip quesadillas. PROTEIN! Of course I'll occasionally have some puppy chow or cookies, but not NEAR as often as I used to. Anyway.... did you see that I've already lost TWENTY-FIVE pounds?!?!?! HOLLAR!!!!!  That was all thanks to Corbin. Unfortunately I still have 25 more pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My goal is to lose 10 more on top of that. So I will be trying to lose 35 pounds. That really seems like a lot, but my goal is to lose 35 pounds by February 2015 so I think that's reasonable. Is it?? I'm gonna try anyway. I would like to lose the first 25 before winter comes back again. We'll see! Yes we will all see because I'm going to keep this blog going and keeping you updated on my progress. I'm sure it's not as fun to see me lose weight was it was to gain it but it will keep my accountable. Surely, I won't want to keep posting pictures of my flubby body without exercising to try to tone it back up! :) Don't expect weekly pictures though... I know how annoying it can be to try to get a picture of myself every week. Maybe monthly though.

So with those stats up there, that is the average/norm/typical these days. However, Corbin is 6 weeks today and apparently that means it's time for another growth spurt. I hate growth spurts. They frustrate me to no end. Today he's decided that he's hungry every 2 hours instead of 3. That's only one hour of difference you say? It makes a HUGE difference in doing anything else. I'm not content to sit around on the couch watching TV and holding my baby all day long anymore and 2 hours flies by in NO TIME. It's hard to get anything done between putting him back down for a nap and feeding him. It is nice to know that's what's "wrong" though. I don't like fussiness for no reason. He's generally a happy baby except when he's hungry or tired. Ok, you're right... he's often hungry or tired. 

We are full time into cloth diapering now and I am loving it. It makes changing a diaper so much more fun. Laundry is probably my favorite chore so I don't mind the extra work there. And it really makes me happy knowing that I'm not filling a landfill with diapers and wipes, or hurting the atmosphere with trying to burn them. But you know me.... my spirit soars knowing that I am not spending hardly any money. I say hardly because I am buying detergent, which is pretty cheap, but I am using it a lot. Our water is free, and they get hung up to dry. I'm giving myself a little pat on the back, but I know it's not practical for everyone. Or enticing to most. I enjoy it, and think it wouldn't be so bad even for those who think it would be. I also use cloth wipes which are super easy and also cute, since my sister made them for me out of pretty flannel fabrics. I also use baby washcloths since I got a lot of those and go through the stash quickly. :) Now we need more consistent warm sunny days so I can hang them up outside more!!!  I did have my first issue with them about a week ago. They started leaking pee through the cover, not just around the legs. So I stripped them just by washing them over and over again in the washer without detergent and hanging them all up to dry, even the inserts. I ended up with a few that got hard water stains, so Andrew turned up the softener, but they have all worked great ever since! I used to put the inserts in the dryer but since I use dryer sheets for the rest of my laundry I think there was a buildup of softener in the dryer that was getting on the inserts, making them less absorbent. Since I started hanging those up too, I haven't had any leaks! Let's hope that was my last issue with cloth dipering. If they're gonna leak, it's not worth it to me! (after I just boasted how wonderful it is....)

Well, I think that's all I feel like updating for now.... my boys are both sleeping and I think I'd like to join them. :) Have a great week!!! :)

Birth Story: Corbin Jack

So my baby is already a month old, and I've heard from a handful of you that you've been waiting for an update on the blog. Well... believe it or not, the blog has taken a major backseat to basically everything else in life. I wanted to journal his birth story right away so I wouldn't forget things, especially the funny stuff. But I tell you what, every day that first week the one thing I wanted to make sure got done was documenting what was happening but between visitors and feeding all I could manage to do was sleep! I would look at a screen and last no more than 10 seconds. Also, every time I nursed him I felt like I was being drugged because I couldn't stay awake... even with visitors. I remember trying so hard to stay awake when people would visit but I just couldn't. Anyway- let's back up... Oh and remember, I'm not good at telling short stories... so grab a cup of hot cocoa and kick your feet up-- if you plan to finish reading this in one sitting, it will be a while......

 At my last prenatal appointment my doctor told me if I didn't have this baby by Sunday, to call Monday morning to schedule an induction for that week. After he didn't come by the weekend I prepared myself and assumed I was going to need to be induced. I remember talking to my sister on Saturday about having to be induced and how jipped she felt when she was induced with her first and I was feeling the same about not going into labor naturally. When we went to bed Saturday night- me in our bed, Andrew in the guest bed, neither of us thought it would be our last night just the 2 of us.

​I woke up around 3:20am Sunday morning feeling like I had to poop, and NOW. So I went downstairs and sat... and sat... and gave up. So I went back to bed feeling constipated. I woke back up a half hour later thinking I would for sure go this time, but just the way it had come back made me wonder. I saw Andrew stir when I was on my way downstairs so I told him, “I might be having contractions but I think I’m just constipated.” He just said, “really?” But he tells me now that he was thinking, “if you think you’re having contractions, you probably are!” Well I went back to the bathroom and I did indeed poop. I went back upstairs and just sat at the top talking to Andrew. I told him I still didn’t feel right, but that I did poop and maybe I just wasn’t done. Andrew wasn’t entirely convinced by that. Well I crawled back in bed and then immediately got back out, feeling awful. I came downstairs and kind of wandered around and then tried sitting on the couch for a little but I couldn’t hold still because of the pain in my lower back. Around 4:30am I yelled up the stairs, "Andrew, can you come downstairs?!" I needed some moral support. He did and we tried to see if this was real labor or not. (more so, I tried to decide if it was or not, and Andrew tried to convince me.) I was so confused because I had read before that real labor starts at the top of your uterus and works its way down. Well my stomach/torso area never once hurt. Finally I decided to call my mom and ask her if I was having back labor. I never asked her that question (Andrew did) because I was afraid of the answer. She had told me before that back labor was the WORST and she hoped of all things that I didn't have back labor. I had back labor. Anyway, she said it sounded like labor, and when I got a contraction I gave Andrew the phone and I squatted on the floor and yelled. Andrew had been trying to time my contractions, which he said was hard to do because I was moaning the whole time- but definitely louder when they were stronger. Finally after he kept saying “that was like 5 minutes!” and “it’s only been like 2 minutes!!!” I called the hospital and told them I was coming in.

​On the way to the hospital I continued to have contractions roughly 3-6 min apart. I remember being able to tell when they were coming on and I told yelled at Andrew that I hated knowing they were coming.  There were no cars on the road on our way, and Andrew took the liberty of speeding the whole way there. He asked what he should do if he got pulled over and I said, “DON’T PULL OVER! Put your 4 ways on and just keep going!” Luckily we didn’t have to try that out. Right before the hospital there is a red light that takes FOREVER to change so as soon as we were coming up to it, I informed Andrew of this, and told him to run it. He did. Andrew asked if he should drop me off but I didn’t want to be left alone so I made him park and we walked to the door together, me stopping a couple times because of the pain. When we got to the desk I said my name and the nurse said, I assume you called in? I told her I did and she told someone, “We have another one.” All the triage rooms were full so she took me right to a Labor/Delivery/Recovery/Postpartum room. She handed me a gown and told me to change into it. Now, I realize that everyone was about to see invade my most private areas but I did not feel like getting butt naked in a big room with a nurse and my husband. I don't know why I thought I had to have any dignity because I went to the bathroom and while I was sitting there, I got very nauseous. I told the nurse I felt like I was going to throw up and sure enough… I did... butt naked sitting on the toilet throwing up and she's being a good nurse and getting me a bin to barf in and helping me put my gown on. So long dignity. Finally I climbed into the bed and she checked me and told me I was 2cm dilated. What a huge let down!!! I couldn’t believe I had all those contractions with all that pain and I was only one more centimeter dilated!!! Andrew and I were both thinking that this was going to be a very long day. The nurse told us that some other doctor was on call that weekend but that sometimes mine would come in anyway. I thought, well she better come in, she told me she wasn’t doing anything this weekend!

​I’m pretty sure the nurses thought it was going to be a long day too, and under different circumstances, I’m sure I would have been sent back home. However, when they called my doctor she told them to keep me there and she would come in and break my water, since I was overdue anyway. She apparently also had a busy week scheduled and didn’t know when she was going to fit me in for an induction! When the nurses told me she was going to break my water, they also decided to tell me that the labor was going to get much worse once she did that. I don’t know why they decided to tell me that. It was a lie anyway.

​I continued to have back labor and Andrew was pushing with his fists on my lower back to help with the pain. He was pushing as hard as he could; I ended up with slight bruising on my lower back! One time he said he was going to push me off the bed if he kept pushing that hard, and I told him that’s ok. I pushed against the bed railing and every now and then would scootch back to the other side of the bed. One particular contraction he was pushing on my back and I thought maybe he was making it worse, so I told him, “Stop pushing!” Well as soon as he stopped, the pain got worse, so I yelled, “PUSH!” Andrew says I did that a couple times, but I only remember one.

​I ended up throwing up two more times throughout the course of labor because the pain was so strong. What an awful, terrible feeling. The throwing up, which was mainly dry heaving followed by regurgitating clear liquids, is what made me cry and feel like the worst person in the world. My mouth was so incredibly dry that I needed to keep drinking, but eventually I realized that’s what was making me throw up. Andrew asked me if I wanted ice (how he knew to think of and offer that, I don’t know) and I told him I did because maybe the moisture would last longer in my mouth. I ate ice chips the rest of labor.

​Andrew did such an amazing job. There is no way that I could have done that without his help. He was encouraging, he did whatever I asked yelled and never once appeared scared. I tell him the only thing he could have done better is have some extra hands so he could give me ice while still pushing on my back. I hated losing his pressure when he would get me the ice, but I couldn’t do without the ice either!!!

​The nurses kept asking me if I wanted the epidural and I kept telling them, “No, I do not!” I knew it would take a lot of convincing for me to get the epidural, and if that back labor couldn’t convince me, no one will ever be able to!  After about an hour and a half of contractions, I think the nurses realized that I was progressing faster than they initially thought. They checked me again and I was 5-6cm dilated. Andrew and I both felt some relief with that! At least all this was doing something!!!

​At one point the nurses were talking about how me and the other girl who came in right before me, both came in not wanting an epidural and that the other girl just got one. I heard that and told Andrew, “I WIN!” He didn’t let me have that satisfaction, and he responded, “ No, you don’t win. You’re just more stubborn.” Darn right, I am. I'm sure that I will go without an epidural for all future births too because the next day my doctor told me she was really glad I didn't have one because she didn't think she would have been able to get him out with one. She watched him twist as he came through the canal. With him being in there all wompy, I probably would have needed a c-section if I got an epidural.

​The labor nurse asked me if I wanted Stadol to help with the pain. I had no idea what that was, and was nervous to say yes. I tried to get her to tell me a little more about it, but all she really said was that it takes the edge off the pain and will feel like I’ve had a couple drinks. I don’t know what having a couple drinks feels like, but if it feels like Stadol, I don't want them. She gave it to me and immediately I felt dizzy and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I basically kept my eyes shut the rest of the time. When they asked me to rate my pain, I told them that maybe it was a little better- I picked 9 instead of 10.  Andrew says he could see the difference more than I could feel it. I still say the pain at the height of the contractions was just as bad. The difference was that in between them, I got some relief, unlike I was getting before. Between contractions I was nearly falling asleep. 

​Backing up a little, I started out laying on my back and labored there for a little while, but eventually a nurse told me that the baby’s heartrate was dropping when I had contractions so I would need to reposition myself. She suggested laying on my side, so I went to my right first. That felt better for me anyway so I was happy to do it. Unfortunately, it made it worse for the baby so they said to try the other side. Well when I rolled to my left side I got another contraction so I said, “NOOO! This is worse!!” They told me it was better for the baby and that I should stay. I stayed that way until I was pushing him out.

​Around 9/9:30ish my doctor showed up in her "street clothes." I was SOOOOO glad to see her! She got herself changed into scrubs and checked me out. I was 8-9cm dilated! Andrew and I were so excited! She broke my water, which I never felt and when the nurse asked her if it was clear my doctor said, “Yeah, well there’s really not much there, she is overdue.” Maybe that’s why I never felt the difference.

​So like I said, I continued my back labor and let everyone in the hospital know it. I was a screamer. I yelled with every contraction, and moaned in between. I would sometimes yell things like, “It HURRRRRTS!” or “I HATE THIS!” “I’m never doing this AGAIN!!!” Andrew told me he would remember that. (Later that day I said something like, “Next time…” And Andrew reminded me of this.

Anyway, so my least favorite nurse would respond to these outbursts by saying things like “Yes, this is labor” “Labor hurts” “it’s supposed to.” Let me just tell you… I wanted to smack her face off for saying those things. Andrew even agrees that she was… not helpful in this way.

​Once, the doctor came in and told me that I could push a little when my contractions were the worst and that would help with the pain. I had been clenching everything and my legs were stiff as boards during those contractions. So I had to sort of, change gears a bit to push instead of clench. The pushing really did help. I did a little at first, but got sort of addicted to it. I don’t remember rolling back to my back but before I knew it the nurses were bringing up foot rests for me to push against and they told me to hold on to my legs to help me push and I was pushing! I couldn’t hold on to my legs. That didn’t really work for me. My doctor told them since I was pretty tall that maybe the handle bars would be easier. Thank you, yes they were. I was gripping and pulling on these handlebars with all my strength!!! I thought about labor and pushing when I was pregnant and I always thought I would love the feeling of pushing and that I would be really good at it. I’m really good at pushing out poop. Well…. that’s what I did. I pooped 3 times. Yes, THREE times. And it wasn’t diarrhea either. I know that I was pooping because I could feel the turds coming out and I could smell it, and I could feel my doctor wiping my butt, and watched her change her gloves every time. How I can look her in the face now is beyond me. I yelled at her once, "all I can do is poop!" and she said it was fine and to not worry about it. Well I wouldn’t worry about it except that’s the only feeling of pushing I could get. People say it’s the same muscles you use to push, but I’m here to tell you there is a difference! I had one good push that I know was the right muscles, but I couldn’t ever find it again. My doctor even said that was a good one. I never felt him moving down, and I couldn’t feel a thing with the pushing… just immense back pain. They told me they could feel the head and that he was close and push “one more time.” That’s like my mother’s “one more bite,”which is only true if you’re an alligator. I really really really hated pushing. I felt like I couldn’t do it. In fact, that is what I kept yelling. And Andrew, the nurses, and the doctor all responded that I could do it, and that I was doing it right now. I grunted and yelled with every push and whenever I would do that, the nurse and Dr would yell, “ no no no!!!” I thought that meant, don’t push! Once I realized that’s not what they meant, I yelled “I don’t know what you mean when you say no!!!” Basically the doctor was yelling at me. I was yelling at her. It was a joyous occasion.  

​My doctor told Andrew to come down and help her out, which was NOT the plan. I told him for months that he was required to stay up by me so my lady parts and giving birth would not gross him out. He was needed to help hold my leg out, since I kept wanting to close them, and also holding my legs back on the table, since I kept wanting to slide off! Not really though, I kept pushing, and moving farther down the table because I felt like I could push harder down, than out. I guess my doctor didn’t think that was a good idea.

There was another time​ I wasn’t breathing slow enough (probably because I told Andrew to stop telling me to focus on my breathing) and there was, I guess, some hyperventilating about to happen and all of a sudden there is an oxygen mask on my face. Hello?! A warning would be nice!!! So I ripped it off my face. The nurse yelled at me told me to leave it on, and put it back on. I glared at her and left it on for about 5 more seconds and ripped it off again. I made sure I calmed my breathing down so they wouldn't sufficate me with more oxygen... ;)

​Finally, I felt the Ring of Fire. I knew the end was near. Only maybe 3 more pushes and that precious head was out. It was so huge I thought for sure his whole body was out. Nope! One more push and out he came. I did open my eyes in time to see his slimy little (big) body as the doctor pulled him out. They did some this and that, I don’t know what, and I light-heartedly pushed out the placenta and felt the ultimate relief I was craving. Andrew cut the cord and the nurses wiped Corbin off and placed him on my chest. AH-MAZING. I slowly brought my hands up to him and touched his little arm. I could not believe it- he was real! That’s what I thought when I touched his skin and felt his warmth, felt that there was blood, muscles, and bone inside. He was real and alive, and ours! Whoa!

​He wasn’t really very cute. Andrew and I both agreed on this. However… later that evening Andrew said something to the effect of him not looking so bad after all, I had thought the same thing and told him so. He continues to get cuter and cuter every day!!! Have no fear, I think he is the cutest little man now! 

     ​A short summary of the first week is that it was pretty easy. He didn't really cry much except when we changed his diaper. I say we, because that first week, it was usually a group effort. Speaking of changing diapers. He got me all worried because he took a long time to have his first wet diaper. The doctor said she didn't want to do his circumcision until he could prove he could wet a diaper. It was a big celebration MONDAY night when he had his first soaker. Well, he had a poopy diaper Monday afternoon and then decided he didn't want to have another one until Wednesday. No poop or pee for 2 days... I was a worried mess. After that he's never stopped! Ha! 

         Well I think that's enough details! Next up: 1 Week-1 Month! 

Week 40: Today is Due Date Day!!!

Size of Baby: jackfruit. Who knew there was something bigger than a watermelon. Oh my word. I just googled Jackfruit. What a well-played joke, TheBump, well played.. There is NO WAY I am THAT big. OH there is NO WAY I am pushing something THAT BIG through my hoo-haa. uh uh.

NO.

What's that Babe up to: even the bump doesn't have much to say. Here is what he's doing: getting bigger, growing nails, growing hair, and further developing lungs. Isn't that just dandy.

Symptoms: swelling, lightning bolts down my legs, insomnia, backaches.

Food cravings or aversions: this is such a not-40-weeks-pregnant question
Weight: 198.
Weight gain so far: 50 lbs. of course, I've been as high as 203 but... 
Stretch Marks: yes yes yes

Sleep: I'm just going to leave last week's comment on this up because apparently not everyone has seen it..... Could everyone stop telling me to get as much sleep as I can now because I won't get any after the baby comes? You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea, except that I CAN'T SLEEP and that's all I would like to do, and being told that I won't get any after he's born does NOT make me feel any better. (i'm not actually upset at you for telling me this, and you're not the only one, i know you mean well)
Best moment this week: NOT going to work!!!
Miss Anything: I sure do miss my sleep, and many other things... but sleep is probably #1 right now. I get emails from Lucie's List and this is what she had to say about this:  (The other side is this great place where you can actually tie your shoes without assistance. On the other side... there is SUSHI and soft cheese. And wine, my god, the booze is simply amazing (once it hits your lips, it's so good!), UNCOOKED lunch meat. And hot tubs. Belly sleeping. Dangerous ladder-standing.... did I mention the booze?)  I don't necessarily feel the same way about all these things, but I think it's funny nonetheless. And I want a hot tub.

Movement: yep- just reminding me he's still in there.... in case I forgot...
Maternity Clothes: I have 3 shirts and 2 pants that I prefer to wear. They are all in the wash. Don't picture me right now.....
Belly Button: half and half
Wedding Rings: I miss those too. And I'm nervous they will never fit again....
Looking Forward To: I am really looking forward to some tight pain in my torso. And then I'm looking forward to it happening again 5 minutes later. I kid you not, I am really looking forward to that.... Also, I'm looking forward to seeing what he looks like. Will he have hair? Will it be brown or blonde? Will he have a big nose? little ears? fat cheeks? acne? birthmarks? cross-eyed? I just wonder is all...

Journal:
  First of all, I would like to ask everyone to just calm down a little for me. I understand that you're kind of excited for me to have this baby. Believe it or not, Andrew and I are pretty excited ourselves. Maybe a little anxious, maybe getting a little impatient. But you know what I was thinking today?? I would have a LOT more patience in waiting for this baby if everyone else wouldn't make me feel like he's 3 weeks late already. He's not even late (yet). So when you see me next week, then you can act like you've been acting these last 2 weeks. I know, I know, I brought it upon myself when I had ONE bad day of high blood pressure with swelling and a big weight gain. I know, we all thought he was coming 3 weeks ago when my Dr told me so. But you know what?? Every day since then my blood pressure has been good, my swelling is present but not as severe, no protein in my urine, and the little guy has a happy high heart rate. We are all healthy. We are all ready to meet each other, but no need to get all bent out of shape just because he didn't come EARLY.

That's just how I feel today. And yesterday. However, the day before that and probably tomorrow, I will be thinking.... WHAT THE HECK??!!?! THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS! GET HIM OUT NOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!! Oh wait, yeah that's how I've felt for the last 2 weeks. I've had a change of heart.... no matter if it is just temporary.

Get on outta there!

I have been feeling SOOOO much better since I stopped working. Stress is so exhausting. I used to pride myself in not getting stressed out over things- ask my hygiene school friends! But I tell you what, that job was pushing my limits. Hopefully it was just the combo of the job with my pregnancy and when I go back in 11.5 weeks it won't be so bad. ;)

I have gotten so much done since I stopped working. It's pretty easy to stay on top of laundry and dishes. I made TWELVE different freezer crockpot meals. I made some yummy desserts. Did a ton of grocery shopping. Went for a walk, went for a drive, spent an entire day playing rummy-kub, & watched a ton of Olympics!!! Life has been great.
One thing that I've been planning on doing once I started my maternity leave is CRAFT!!! Sew, paint, glue, etc.... anything! I LOVE to make things and I never find the time to do it while I'm working so I thought for sure that's what I would jump right into once I stopped working. Haven't. done. a. thing. Instead it's spending my day in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, laundry, organizing finances, etc etc. Maybe today will be the day. I think it's because I don't already have something in mind to make. I will be visiting Pinterest later today.

Dude, check out this funny trick I learned while waiting for the shower to get hot...

Suck it in...

And relax...

I can basically make it look like I'm only 30 weeks pregnant!!! haha!!! So far, I am the only one impressed by this. And the only one who thinks it's funny. Anyone on my side? Oh by the way, I hadn't eaten breakfast yet when I did this. Goes to show there is plenty of room in there yet for the little man to swim around. ugh.

SO are you curious what my Dr said this week?? WELL... nothing has changed. I'm still only 1cm dilated. She stripped my membranes again this week, hoping to get my water to break. It was a little more aggressive this time, apparently, since I've been spotting ever since. That's gross. You didn't want to know that. Sorry. Now you do. She told me she still has no plans this week so any day would be great for her. That's nice, me too. Andrew keeps telling me he doesn't want to go to work and so any day would be great for him. That's nice, me too. I FEEL NOTHING. ANYWHO- So today is my due date and she said they generally don't let anyone go more than 1 week late. That's good because I don't want to have my baby in March. (Does anyone remember me saying I didn't want a baby in January? yeah, see we picked February for a reason...) SOO if I don't have the baby by Sunday night, I'm supposed to call Monday morning and we will schedule an induction for next week. She then said, but hopefully you go naturally, because that's just best. Amen. SO my fervent prayer has been that I go into labor naturally. I really don't want to be induced. I also really don't want him to get any bigger. Induction wins over getting bigger. I've mentally prepared myself to make that call Monday morning. I'm planning on being induced. I'm hoping I get a nice surprise. I hope God doesn't see that as doubting the power of my prayers. Maybe ya'll can join me in praying that I go naturally... whenever that may be.

A little trip down memory lane. Twenty weeks is cute. I think that's plenty big enough. 40 just looks awkward.

Week 39: Can you just come now??

Size of Baby: watermelon. I mean really, just look at my belly... obviously huge. Dr said about 8 pounds on Tuesday.

What's that Babe up to: you mean besides not coming out? yeah, he's just getting bigger. that's it. oh wait, and also his nails have probably grown past his fingers. I'm telling you folks, nothing of great significance that can't be done outside the womb. Come meet the world, little one, I'd very much like to see what you look like.
Symptoms: swelling, of course, lightning bolts down my legs, heartburn, insomnia, backaches, a freaking cold.

Food cravings or aversions: still none, but eating whatever I feel like for just a little longer. I just ate mac & cheese and grape juice for breakfast. I mean, it's whatever.
Weight: 199
Weight gain so far: Is that 51 pounds? I think so. I was 196 all week until this morning.... I had a lot to eat last night
Stretch Marks: they are taking over, and they are not pretty. And they have moved down to my thighs now. Which is really cool. I shouldn't complain; it's my own fault for not exercising while pregnant past 20 weeks. 

Sleep: Could everyone stop telling me to get as much sleep as I can now because I won't get any after the baby comes? You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea, except that I CAN'T SLEEP and that's all I would like to do, and being told that I won't get any after he's born does NOT make me feel any better. (i'm not actually upset at you for telling me this, and you're not the only one, i know you mean well)
Best moment this week: Getting to spend more time with Andrew lately... that's my favorite.
Miss Anything: I sure do miss my sleep, and many other things... but sleep is probably #1 right now.

Movement: yes, except now those kicks are a bit more painful... like the walls of my uterus are getting sore.
Maternity Clothes: The wardrobe availability shrinks day by day. Note my belly sticking out of the shirt in the picture?
Belly Button: half and half
Wedding Rings: picked them up last night! Now they are all shiny and sparkly and ready to be worn! I'm quite nervous about them fitting ever again since they aren't even close to fitting..... at all.
Looking Forward To: Why have I not said this before... I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!! today would be great.

Journal:
SO really, I am 39 weeks and 3 days. I don't want to jip myself of those 3 days. I don't want you to think I have a full week until I'm 40 weeks. Because in fact, it's only 4 days until my due date. Do you remember when I said I hope I go late so my mom can come out and also I like those numbers better, etc, etc..... Let me just say that the main reason why my preference on why I'd like to have the little guy out of here as soon as possible is because he ain't no little guy. Every day I don't feel a contraction, this babe is putting on the weight. I am still planning on going naturally, fully, but the idea of pushing out 10 pounds just doesn't get me excited. Can I get some appreciation for that??

Well this week went much like I said it would last week. Worked Monday, came home completely exhausted. Andrew made supper, I ate it, and then laid on the couch the rest of the night. Tuesday, I saw the doctor and she said I still wasn't quite 2cm dilated, but that I was 60% effaced. She "stripped my membranes" to help encourage labor to start... didn't work. She told me to have sex. We listen to what Dr's tell us, but alas, still no labor. Not even false labor. I've felt NOTHING except discomfort. I feel pressure in my abdomen, which people tell me is something, but I'm pretty sure it's just the little guy moving around, or trying to since we are all running out of room to move much.
Wednesday I worked again and was just a slight bit less exhausted afterwards, so Andrew and I kept our plans of going to the Valentine meal the MYF at church put on. It was delightful and delicious. My dear sweet friend at church used to do Reflexology so I asked her to show me where the labor induction areas were and she told me to prop my feet up and she'd work them for me! WOW that hurt.... and again... did not work. :(
Thursday I worked my last day of work for 12 weeks!!!!!!! 12 weeks just doesn't sound very long to me anymore. 40 weeks sounds long, not 12. It was a busy long day where we were understaffed, but everyone seemed to maintain good cheer regardless and it wasn't a bad day at all because of it. After work me and 4 coworkers went across the street to the best Mexican restaurant to celebrate. It was lovely. 

I have an update on my bra-hate. Turns out I'm not a D after all. *phew* I'm just bigger around the bust... I measure at 36 inches, but I'm telling you that 38 is tight, so I think I'm really 40.... ANYWHO... my friend told me I need to get some bra extenders and my problem should be solved! SCORE! I got some this week and tried those bras on again and they magically fit. Well, the Ds are a little big, but apparently that's good for when the milk comes in. Oh boy. I'm ready to be a mom, I'm ready to change diapers, I'm ready to love and snuggle like never before, I'm ready for it.... but I am not excited about the breastfeeding and all the pains that go with that. Ouch. Bring it on, kiddo, let's do this.

So nature and life and my body decided to play a really cruel joke on me this week (I say nature, life and my body because surely, God wouldn't wish this upon me.)  This week I have developed a nasty head cold. My MIL told me this is what happens right before the baby comes, in fact she asked me a couple times before I got sick if I was sick because that meant the baby was coming. I think she wished it upon me. (if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding.) I know plenty of people who did NOT get a cold before their baby came and I would have been just fine being in that category instead. Not just because I'm already in great discomfort and struggling to breathe as it is, and adding a headache, cough, sinus pain, runny noses, congestion, etc to the mix is a terrible thing to suffer through, but HELLO.... the SNEEZES!!!!!!!!!! I sneezed SO MUCH at work this week and every time I'm squeezing.... squeezing so hard.... but alas... I sniss. As if being this huge and waddling around and then all the humbling experiences of childbirth I'm preparing myself for weren't humiliating enough, then I have to pee my pants at work. The one time was so bad... it wasn't just a little bit. I had to excuse myself from my poor patient to "blow my nose" so I could go to the bathroom and attempt to clean up a little. I felt like a 5 year old who peed their pants at school, and unfortunately there were no spare sweatpants to change into. Not cool, kids, not cool.

I did manage to avoid having my water break at work. I daydreamed about that numerous times and how embarrassing that would be. I'm glad I snuck past that. Of course, had that happened, I would have a baby now.....

Well I suppose that's about all I have to say. When I look back at this journal post I will see how negative I became towards the end. Sorry about that. It's true though... I'm ready to move on. Move on or sleep. In fact, in this exact moment I don't care if I could sleep for a solid 5 hours or if I started labor. Either one sounds magical.

Week 38: Ha!

Size of Baby: pumpkin!

What's that Babe up to: has hopefully an inch of hair already! I sure do hope he has hair! Also, he's shedding the white goo on his skin. good thing, cause that's not cute.
Symptoms: oh the swelling with finger numbness on my right hand. Also, the lightning bolts that want to collapse me or paralyze me since the baby is sitting and hitting my nerves.

Food cravings or aversions: nothing, but I did realize last night that my days of having an excuse to eat ice cream at 10:30 at night are numbered... So I enjoyed a nice size bowl before bed.
Weight: 199
Weight gain so far: I lost 4 pounds! ha! I don't know what the problem was last week.
Stretch Marks: they are taking over, and they are not pretty

Sleep: Sunday night and Monday night I slept so good- I only woke up once or twice to pee and I thought, oh maybe God is blessing me with a couple good nights of sleep right before the baby comes! Alas, no baby yet.
Best moment this week: um... getting everything, including our brains, ready for having a baby
Miss Anything: Being able to get a massage while lying on my stomach.

Movement: yes, still enjoying that!!!
Maternity Clothes: I just wish they were longer! And every day I struggle with what pants to wear.
Belly Button: half out, half in. I've investigated this further and that's as far as I think it can physically go, without tearing. oh tearing.... that word makes me cringe.
Wedding Rings: I've decided to wear them on my necklace now so that if they should magically fit after delivery I can put them back on!! I do miss them so...
Looking Forward To: Well, I told Andrew if we don't have this baby this week, that my consolation prize is a trip to Olive Garden. So I'm looking forward to that, since I've convinced myself that he isn't coming any time soon.

Journal:
   Sorry this post is coming to you later than expected.... It's just really not as exciting to write!!! Obviously, my observation on Friday went well, and no baby was to be had since then. How disappointing, yet relieving all at the same time. We have been on a mental rollercoaster it seems for the last week and a half! (it's telling me rollercoaster isn't one word... it should be, so I'm leaving it.) So let's back up and review the last week so I don't forget years from now. I made myself little bullet points to hit on in this blog: Bras, Olive Garden, Appointment, Work, Weather. I know what you're most excited to hear about.

So where did we leave off? Wednesday. Thursday was much the same... spent waddling and aching through work. Friday morning before my appointment I had the feeling my bp was fine and I was going to come straight back home and be disappointed that I got all worked up for a baby to come this week and then my Dr was going to change her mind. That's pretty much exactly what happened. I went to the Women's Center and got all hooked up and took a nap. Of course, every time the BP cuff started going, it startled me awake (they should've videoed me- I'm sure it was funny) and then I anxiously watched as it never went above 130/82.... high for me, but totally acceptable for keeping a baby inside. So I got sent home with instructions to follow up with my Dr on Tuesday as planned. I decided since I had nothing else planned that day I would take my time getting home. So I went to Lefty's Pizza and got the buffet and ate by myself... while I messaged Alexa and Michelle in the booth with my iPad. *sigh. Then I ran some errands- returning more baby things and getting cash money to spend on other baby things instead. Finally I came back home and who knows what happened after that- it was over a week ago. I don't even remember what we did last weekend. Oh Saturday we went to the Stuckey's and played the Farming Game. I've heard references to this game for years now, and I must say- I think you have to grow up with it to really enjoy it.

Sunday after church we ate at the local delicious Mexican hotspot, while people told me they and everyone else ate Mexican right before they had their babies. Didn't work for me. I don't remember what else happened that day. Or Monday- I worked, that's all I know. Wow, I'm really not remembering anything.

Tuesday I had a meeting at work all morning that I skipped out on part of to see my doctor. I was so excited and curious to see if I was dilated more and when she thought I'd have the baby. Well... I didn't score an exam so who knows if I progressed any more, and she was so relieved when she saw me. I wasn't surprised by anything she said, but I can't say I was 100% happy about any of it too. haha, which is funny- because I was perfectly healthy. I lost 4 pounds since the week before (when I had gained 8) I was much less swollen, my urine tests were all good (even with a donut for breakfast!!) and my BP was 130 something over 80 something. So we talked about vaccines and tests and IVs and all that great stuff. She said I made her nervous last week but that she still didn't think I would make it much past my due date. Yep. She said that. Um.... recap: last week she told me she wasn't about to let me go to my due date. Now this week, she tells me I won't go much PAST it. Seriously???? Come on... Hence the rollercoaster Andrew and I have been on this week. "baby's coming any day!!!" "baby won't be here for at least 2 weeks!!" ugh. I mean, really- I know there isn't a huge rush- He's healthier the longer he's in there, my parents get back from Argentina on Wednesday, being induced is harder labor than going naturally, yadda yadda yadda........ Also- the longer he's in there, the bigger he gets. Helloooooo.

Back to that IV mention... You'll remember I'm terrified of such things. I had a kind friend tell me that I was going to get an IV no matter what. I asked the doc about this and she said that I don't HAVE to have an IV no matter what, but that since she's never delivered any of my babies (funny, since I don't have any), she would like to at least have a hep-lock just in case of an emergency and if things go great this time, maybe next time I won't need one. I suppose I can concede to that. I'm learning to be a big girl every day. 

So I went back to work then on Tuesday and finished off the day. The next day we were supposed to get a big snow storm (which, of course, we did) so we had a bunch of people cancelling. So our lovely front desk people moved my schedule around and gave me the day off. Lots of people ended up with the day off, but at least mine was planned so I didn't have to worry/wonder in the morning! Thursday I went back to work but people were still cancelling so I only worked the morning. It was a wretched morning that I would like to never repeat nor even talk about so all I will say is, Praise the Lord I'm pregnant and got to leave in the morning. I came home and took off my bra and put on my sweats and took a couple back to back hour naps. It was just what I needed.

Since I've mentioned it twice now... I have recently acquired a disdain for bras. I hate them. Truly, I do. In fact, I don't even like boobs anymore. Not that I really loved them before, but I had nothing against my nice little ones. Now they are big, and I can't seem to find any bras that fit them. They cut into my ribs and make me so sore I want to scream. I hate them. Remember how I said I bought a nursing bra a while ago and it was too small?? Well I ordered 3 more online that were much bigger.... they are too small. I tell you my weight, so really, do you mind if I tell you my boob size? Pre-pregnancy I was a 32/34 barely B. I am now the owner of a 38D that is too small. TOO SMALL??!?!?! Did I seriously grow 7 inches around my bust along with the giant boobs?????!??! I understand many of you have started out with Ds, but seriously. When you've been an A and B all your life, D is really huge, along with wearing 32s and 34s and having 38s be way too tight. I'm told that they will be getting bigger, then smaller, then disappear (can't wait), and that I should keep all these nursing bras because eventually they may fit. What do I do between now and then???? I suffer another week or 2 or whatever, then my sister anonymous friend will lend me her jumbo ones to get me by. I hate bras. and I hate boobs. and yes, I realize all the men in my life love and will love them. That does not convince me they are worth it.

Moving on.... last weekend when we were at the Stuckey's there was an Olive Garden commercial on for a 2 for $25 meal deal thingy-do. It looked sooooooo yummy that I declared to Andrew that if we don't have a baby this week we are going to Olive Garden next weekend as a consolation prize. Well! Last night we went and wow.... that was the most AMAZINGLY delicious meal I've enjoyed in a while. The beauty of it is, I couldn't finish it and I get to enjoy leftovers today!!! Just saying, this little boy has a lot to live up to now. ;)
Andrew had put together a perfectly planned evening last night. We are getting a second washer since our current HE washer doesn't always get our clothes clean. We are cloth diapering. There will be poop involved. Our washer NEEDS to get ALL the clothes clean. So we are getting a non-HE one to use just for the diapers. I think it puts everyone's mind at ease. So last night we were going to go pick that up, then go to Olive Garden, then hop over to the mall to drop off my rings to get all shined up for when I can get them on my finger again, and spend a free $10 at JCPenney. We planned on leaving as soon as Andrew got home from work. I was actually ready to go when he got home and we were about to leave when he got a text from the person selling us the washer (Craigslist) saying there was a family emergency and tonight wouldn't work afterall. UGH. So waded in our misery of our evening's plans disintegrating, tried to rescue it several times, both of us were getting/staying grumpy.... Finally we decided we would just go to Olive Garden anyway, and Andrew would take the truck to pick up the washer another day. Oh, for those not local... Olive Garden is in Toledo- about an hour away. That's also where the washer was. We don't go to Toledo all that often, since it's an hour away (yes, I realize for some of you that's not very far) and now we are going to have to go twice, instead of hitting it all up in one trip. The evening didn't really redeem itself until we got our main dishes. AMAZING. And the leftovers that I'm enjoying right now are almost just as amazing. Anyway- everything always works itself out, we just need to be flexible when things don't go as planned. haha.... that sounds like advice my sister some wise lady was telling me last week about my childbirth plans...... lesson learned.

Finally, I should mention the weather this year. We have had 3 separate occasions of Level 3 emergencies- instances where due to weather we are not permitted to drive on the roads. As in, this has been one heck of a winter where the snow and cold have been incredible!!! Many people are tired of it, and ready for Spring, but for once- I am loving it all.... hello, who knew you could get snow days as an adult?!?! This is fun!!! The snow is piled up super-high and the winds just make it that much higher. I do hate the wind. But really, only when I have to be outside. Otherwise, let it blow and drift and keep us all snowed in. :) I say this because we have a nice warm house, and no need to leave. Of course.... we will have a need to leave and hopefully when we are going to the hospital it's not one of the bad days. The temperatures have dipped well below zero, with the coldest being -40 with the windchill factored in. I heard this past storm was the most snowfall we had- which was somewhere between 9-12 inches. **update: I just heard we have gotten 67 inches of snow this winter so far! That's the most since 1981/82!!**  I tried to take some pictures today of our place, but I don't know that it will really show much. Anyway, little baby..... it's been a cold, hard, real winter this year, and it hasn't been like this in quite a few years!!! :)

This coming week will probably be much like the past weeks: I work Monday, Dr Tuesday, with NO WORK  on Tuesday, not even the afternoon!!! score!!! and then I work Wednesday, and maybe Thursday if patients get added to the schedule. My parents get home on Wednesday so we can talk via phones again and not cross our fingers they have internet provided where they are!!! Full moon is on Valentine's day- Friday- so who knows... maybe next weekend will be the lucky time. The glory of next week is that it is my LAST week of work. I am starting my maternity leave on the 17th, so even if I am forced to wait ANOTHER week, at least I won't have the stress of work to bog me down. score.

Ok, is there any way that the person who just did our health info gathering for life insurance will read this blog? I hope not. And if so, I do sincerely apologize, please forgive me, and I will forever be embarrassed. hahahaha! But this story is just too good not to share. So Andrew and I are getting life insurance. I got a call earlier this week to see if today would work to do the blood work, height & weight and all that good stuff. So I told Andrew that a guy was going to be coming on Saturday right after lunch and to make sure he's home. Well today the guy calls because our address doesn't like GPSes since our address is different than our county... it's weird, I know, but trust me. So I'm giving him directions and when I hang up I told Andrew that he really sounds like Randy on Say Yes to the Dress. Like identical. If he would have walked up to our door, I wouldn't even have been surprised. Andrew didn't know who that was, so I tried to explain. Well the van pulls in the driveway.... and a lady steps out. WHAT?! hahahaha! Andrew thought I was the most ridiculous person in the world so after the kind lady left, I brought up a clip of Randy from Say Yes to the Dress and had him close his eyes. I'm telling you, she sounds IDENTICAL to him. All this time I thought she was a man, and now I'm wondering if I ever said anything that would have tipped her off. I sure hope not.....

My favorite maternity shirt needed photographed. So much more flattering than that white tank!!!

My outfit for church tomorrow. Sorry it's blurry. Funny thing is- that is a misses dress size small... that has now become a size large maternity tunic! ha! love it. maternity dresses when you are this huge are just plain hideous.

See you next week.