Baby #2

They say you always take more pictures of the firstborn than you do any of their siblings. I currently have 7 shutterfly books packed with pictures of Corbin documenting his first year and a half of life. I  hope I document this second kid better than I am this pregnancy!! I went from documenting EVERY WEEK of my pregnancy with Corbin and this is my first attempt at a blog post of this pregnancy!

I've thought of things to say a couple times but I haven't had enough motivation to actually get out my keyboard and type my thoughts. (Assuming you know that I also lack the time and energy!)

My thoughts have changed a bit as time goes on, I kind of go back and forth. I was VERY ready for another baby. I love the stage that Corbin is in, but I missed the baby stage, and missed when Corbin was so little. I'd like my kids to be close together in age, about 2 years-ish. Well my due date is less than 2 weeks after Corbin' birthday!

Andrew is a little less than excited about having a baby. Ok, let's be honest, he will never be excited to have a baby. He doesn't really care for babies. If they could come out at Corbin's age/stage he would be fine with having more kids (i think) but he will never want another baby. Tough beans for him, since we are definitely having more than one! (and hopefully more than 2!) Anyway, he kept wanting to put me off from getting pregnant a couple months so that we could have a baby in May instead of March. I figured it was just a stalling tactic (I still believe it was) But then after the deed was done he pointed out that if we had a baby in May, I would have the whole summer off work!!! Why didn't I think of that!? Why didn't he mention that sooner?!? Oh well. Too late. Maybe next time. 

As I said, my thoughts have changed some- This pregnancy is so very different than my first. A few symptoms are different, but mostly my attitude. I cherished my first pregnancy SO much and I'm so glad that I did. It was all brand new and was the most exciting thing to happen to my body and, dare I say, my life? This time around I barely keep track of what week I am (I only know because I put it in my calendar on my phone and it reminds me every Saturday night.) I have no idea how big it is, what it's doing or growing, etc. Last time I was excited to see my belly grow and I couldn't wait to show off my baby bump. This time, I see my expanding belly and my shrinking clothes as only a reminder of what I finally got rid of, and is coming back WAY too easily and fast!!! I dread having to lose this weight and fat again. And yet, I can't stop myself from stuffing my face with the chips at Casa Vieja, or eating the footlong BLT instead of just a 6 inch, or helping myself to seconds, thirds, and fourths, if I happen to make a decent meal. I started out better- healthier choices and healthier portions. And then the fair came to town and all bets have been off. I still prefer the healthier options, but the portion control is ... out of control.

Anyway, I digress, there have been a number of times that I've decided, no, I don't think I want another kid. I really just like Corbin and I know that no other kid will be like him and that makes me sad. I like what we have going here- the 3 of us. I don't know why I thought I had to change it up. I told my sister I wouldn't tell people that I thought those things, but why not... I remember reading a blog back when I was preggers with Corbo and the writer was saying how her first born will always hold a special place in her heart because he made her a mommy. I can see that being true for me too. Of course, everyone always says you end up having enough love to go around, but before this baby gets here, it's so hard to imagine!!!

I see my friends posting pictures of their newborns and it does not pull at my mommy heartstrings. I think, oh I don't feel like feeding a baby every 2 hours. Corbin more or less feeds himself. And oh, I don't feel like remembering to change diapers... ALL THE TIME. Corbin is down to 3 or so a day most days. And OH! I do NOT look forward to pumping. ugh. Or all the baby and nursing paraphenalia that will invade the house. I looked back at my blog today and saw a picture of me at 40 weeks. I looked absolutely bizarre. That is NOT normal human likeness. I did not feel like going through all this again. But when I look at pictures of Corbin as a baby, I think, "oh wait, maybe I do." Not only is he just darling to look at, but those pictures remind me of how I felt when they were taken. Completely smitten with love and joy and satisfaction, and indescribable emotions. Yes. Yes! Yes, I do want this baby and all the love and joy that comes with it! :)

One of the more recent times when I was emotional about having a second baby I texted my mom and sister, the two best listeners and advice-givers I have, and something my sister said has helped- Instead of worrying about not bonding with this baby, just think about how Corbin will love it and think about the interactions they will have. That helps. That sounds like a lot more fun!

Well now this blog post has been completely about how unsure I am about this whole thing, but that's been a lot of what's on my mind lately. Shall we resurrect some stats, and take my first belly shot???

17 Weeks

Size of Baby: large onion (roughly 5.1 inches)

What's that Babe up to: turning rubbery cartilage into bone, puttin' on some fat, just like the babe's momma
Symptoms: emotional, occasional round ligament pain, (headaches have gotten better, so has my sinus congestion)
Food Cravings: COTTAGE CHEESE! and pickels. So cliche.
Food Aversions: haven't had many. just don't like to end on something sweet
Weight: 160
Weight gain so far: 15. yeah I'm not kidding. Really, 15 lbs and I'm only 17 weeks. According to the pros of pregnancy weight-gain, it should only be 5-10 lbs. Last time it was 8 lbs. Today, its 15 lbs. UGH!!!
Maternity Clothes: just a couple shirts, mainly wearing my post-pregnancy clothes with some bella-bands
Sleep: (funny last time I said I was on the couch bc andrew had a sore throat and I knew I'd get a full on cold.. this happed just a couple weeks ago.) Sleep has been good- when I drink the proper amount during the day, I wake up a couple times to go to the bathroom (which is now RIGHT beside my room!!!) but if I don't, I sleep through the night. This week I got out my Snoogle. We are best friends.
Best moment this week: only working 2 days, and getting to spend more fun time with Corbin. Went to Sauder Village, yard saling, and made applesauce with the MIL!
Miss Anything: having control of my emotions.
Movement: I thought I did a couple weeks ago, but I haven't felt it since, so maybe it was just my intestines...
Belly Button: In
Wedding Rings: still fit and freshly cleaned and re-plated
Looking Forward To: really looking forward to the ultrasound so I can hopefully start to bond with this babe... and find a name.

Today, 17 weeks

First pregnancy 17 weeks.

Well that's probably enough for now. No promises on when the next time I'll post will be! Maybe I'll get Andrew to get some better pictures... ;)

Thanks for reading.