Baby #2

They say you always take more pictures of the firstborn than you do any of their siblings. I currently have 7 shutterfly books packed with pictures of Corbin documenting his first year and a half of life. I  hope I document this second kid better than I am this pregnancy!! I went from documenting EVERY WEEK of my pregnancy with Corbin and this is my first attempt at a blog post of this pregnancy!

I've thought of things to say a couple times but I haven't had enough motivation to actually get out my keyboard and type my thoughts. (Assuming you know that I also lack the time and energy!)

My thoughts have changed a bit as time goes on, I kind of go back and forth. I was VERY ready for another baby. I love the stage that Corbin is in, but I missed the baby stage, and missed when Corbin was so little. I'd like my kids to be close together in age, about 2 years-ish. Well my due date is less than 2 weeks after Corbin' birthday!

Andrew is a little less than excited about having a baby. Ok, let's be honest, he will never be excited to have a baby. He doesn't really care for babies. If they could come out at Corbin's age/stage he would be fine with having more kids (i think) but he will never want another baby. Tough beans for him, since we are definitely having more than one! (and hopefully more than 2!) Anyway, he kept wanting to put me off from getting pregnant a couple months so that we could have a baby in May instead of March. I figured it was just a stalling tactic (I still believe it was) But then after the deed was done he pointed out that if we had a baby in May, I would have the whole summer off work!!! Why didn't I think of that!? Why didn't he mention that sooner?!? Oh well. Too late. Maybe next time. 

As I said, my thoughts have changed some- This pregnancy is so very different than my first. A few symptoms are different, but mostly my attitude. I cherished my first pregnancy SO much and I'm so glad that I did. It was all brand new and was the most exciting thing to happen to my body and, dare I say, my life? This time around I barely keep track of what week I am (I only know because I put it in my calendar on my phone and it reminds me every Saturday night.) I have no idea how big it is, what it's doing or growing, etc. Last time I was excited to see my belly grow and I couldn't wait to show off my baby bump. This time, I see my expanding belly and my shrinking clothes as only a reminder of what I finally got rid of, and is coming back WAY too easily and fast!!! I dread having to lose this weight and fat again. And yet, I can't stop myself from stuffing my face with the chips at Casa Vieja, or eating the footlong BLT instead of just a 6 inch, or helping myself to seconds, thirds, and fourths, if I happen to make a decent meal. I started out better- healthier choices and healthier portions. And then the fair came to town and all bets have been off. I still prefer the healthier options, but the portion control is ... out of control.

Anyway, I digress, there have been a number of times that I've decided, no, I don't think I want another kid. I really just like Corbin and I know that no other kid will be like him and that makes me sad. I like what we have going here- the 3 of us. I don't know why I thought I had to change it up. I told my sister I wouldn't tell people that I thought those things, but why not... I remember reading a blog back when I was preggers with Corbo and the writer was saying how her first born will always hold a special place in her heart because he made her a mommy. I can see that being true for me too. Of course, everyone always says you end up having enough love to go around, but before this baby gets here, it's so hard to imagine!!!

I see my friends posting pictures of their newborns and it does not pull at my mommy heartstrings. I think, oh I don't feel like feeding a baby every 2 hours. Corbin more or less feeds himself. And oh, I don't feel like remembering to change diapers... ALL THE TIME. Corbin is down to 3 or so a day most days. And OH! I do NOT look forward to pumping. ugh. Or all the baby and nursing paraphenalia that will invade the house. I looked back at my blog today and saw a picture of me at 40 weeks. I looked absolutely bizarre. That is NOT normal human likeness. I did not feel like going through all this again. But when I look at pictures of Corbin as a baby, I think, "oh wait, maybe I do." Not only is he just darling to look at, but those pictures remind me of how I felt when they were taken. Completely smitten with love and joy and satisfaction, and indescribable emotions. Yes. Yes! Yes, I do want this baby and all the love and joy that comes with it! :)

One of the more recent times when I was emotional about having a second baby I texted my mom and sister, the two best listeners and advice-givers I have, and something my sister said has helped- Instead of worrying about not bonding with this baby, just think about how Corbin will love it and think about the interactions they will have. That helps. That sounds like a lot more fun!

Well now this blog post has been completely about how unsure I am about this whole thing, but that's been a lot of what's on my mind lately. Shall we resurrect some stats, and take my first belly shot???

17 Weeks

Size of Baby: large onion (roughly 5.1 inches)

What's that Babe up to: turning rubbery cartilage into bone, puttin' on some fat, just like the babe's momma
Symptoms: emotional, occasional round ligament pain, (headaches have gotten better, so has my sinus congestion)
Food Cravings: COTTAGE CHEESE! and pickels. So cliche.
Food Aversions: haven't had many. just don't like to end on something sweet
Weight: 160
Weight gain so far: 15. yeah I'm not kidding. Really, 15 lbs and I'm only 17 weeks. According to the pros of pregnancy weight-gain, it should only be 5-10 lbs. Last time it was 8 lbs. Today, its 15 lbs. UGH!!!
Maternity Clothes: just a couple shirts, mainly wearing my post-pregnancy clothes with some bella-bands
Sleep: (funny last time I said I was on the couch bc andrew had a sore throat and I knew I'd get a full on cold.. this happed just a couple weeks ago.) Sleep has been good- when I drink the proper amount during the day, I wake up a couple times to go to the bathroom (which is now RIGHT beside my room!!!) but if I don't, I sleep through the night. This week I got out my Snoogle. We are best friends.
Best moment this week: only working 2 days, and getting to spend more fun time with Corbin. Went to Sauder Village, yard saling, and made applesauce with the MIL!
Miss Anything: having control of my emotions.
Movement: I thought I did a couple weeks ago, but I haven't felt it since, so maybe it was just my intestines...
Belly Button: In
Wedding Rings: still fit and freshly cleaned and re-plated
Looking Forward To: really looking forward to the ultrasound so I can hopefully start to bond with this babe... and find a name.

Today, 17 weeks

First pregnancy 17 weeks.

Well that's probably enough for now. No promises on when the next time I'll post will be! Maybe I'll get Andrew to get some better pictures... ;)

Thanks for reading.

6 months: Corbin Jack update!

6 months

WOWza! Corbin is already 6 months old!!! I have been thinking about this blog and for the last 4 months I have had no desire to update anything. Probably because in that 4 months I went back to work and have been adjusting to life as a working momma. This will come as no surprise to anyone, but I do not enjoy being a working momma. However, we have some goals to reach and I didn't go to school for nothing so for this chapter of my life, that is what I am! My dear friend, Alexa, watched Corbin here at our house 2 days a week and my mother-in-law watches him the other day. (Only working 3 days a week is a WONDERFUL compromise) We LOVED having Alexa watch Corbin because not only is she a close friend, she also likes doing dishes and cleaning. Amazing. However, she got herself a real job now working for Fellowship of Christian Athletes, so we had to find a new sitter. (Help her out here!) Corbin goes to a sitter in town who watches 4-5 other kids and that has been wonderful as well. I'm glad that he gets to play with other kids and not be the only one all the time!

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

Weights & Measurements: at his 6 month check up he was 17.12 pounds and 28.5 inches. That puts him at 54% for weight, and 99% for height. I'm pretty sure he had a growth spurt in the last week though! He is still in 6 month clothes which is the first time it's matched his age. He has been in 6 month clothes since he was 3 months. Well, except for his sleepers- those he is wearing 9-12 months! But I have noticed he is starting to grow out of some so we will probably be switching wardrobes soon! (he wore 3-6mo jeans on Sunday and they were definitely small.... oops!)

the first time he got up by himself! Thanks Grandma!

He's Got Skills: Corbin is currently learning how to crawl! He has gotten very quick with his little seal scoot and has gotten 3 crawling steps in a couple times. I'm sure it will be very soon that he is crawling all over the place. 

Last weekend we went to PA to meet my newest little niece (who is absolutely precious and adorable) and my mom taught him how to pull himself up to standing. So now he likes to do that too! 

big stuff

Eat Good Food: He started solid food the week he turned 6 months and he has been loving it! So far he's tasted carrots, sweet potato, peas, banana, rice cereal, and apple yogurt. He's also tried the little dried yogurt melt bites. They are a little tangy, I guess, and last night he gave the funniest face when he ate it! He's a really great  eater- holds his hands out of the way and opens really wide! Sometimes he even says "yum!" as he enthusiastically lunges, mouth wide open, for the next bite. He also likes to naw on the spoon. I am still breast feeding- with my goal being one year (So I don't have to buy formula). He's eating every 3-5 hours, moving more towards every 4-5 hours.

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

Dentition: No teeth yet! He bites and eats everything and drools like a dog but nothing yet. He can bite down really hard and last week he bit down while nursing so momma is JUST fine with no teeth for a while!!!

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

Giggles & Grins: Corbin smiles a lot these days- usually in response to someone talking to him or smiling at him. He laughs the most when someone is teasing him with a toy, or playing peek-a-boo!

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

Rest & Relaxation: So Corbin slept through the night REALLY awesomely the first 4 months of his life. At 4 months he got a little snotty with congestion and ever since then, he thinks he needs to wake up every night and SCREAM. We've been trying what feels like everything with no success to get him to sleep through the night again. Until now- what we are currently trying is what my doctor suggested. When he wakes up- Andrew goes in to get him and gives him a little bit of water in a bottle, then the binky, and he goes back to sleep. Seems to be getting better, or at least he isn't screaming bloody murder anymore. Since he isn't waking up for something yummy, we are hoping eventually he will not wake up in the middle of the night anymore. Other than that he is taking great naps! He usually takes one in the morning and one in the afternoon and occasionally one in the evening. Today he woke up at 6:45, ate, then went right back to sleep! Normally he would be awake for a couple hours before going down for his morning nap but today he is STILL sleeping! (It's currently going on 10:30) Oh I spoke too soon... he is awake up there- I hear him spitting and talking. At least he's happy!

Hocking Hills

Other Firsts: We went on our first vacation with Corbin last week to Hocking Hills State Park in south central Ohio with some college friends from PA. It was BEAUTIFUL! Corbin really liked the hiking- which is no surprise since he has always loved being outside! We stayed at a cabin which was so wonderful! Corbin slept the worst he's EVER slept at night there though... It didn't help that it echoed, but he would wake up 2-4 times a night screaming. How irritating. Luckily we had a king size bed so he slept the second half of the night with us sometimes. There was also a jetted bath tub which I LOVED. Corbin got to try it out too, but unfortunately I left his good-smelling Burts Bees soap there!! Boo! 

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

Love & Hate: Corbin loves baths, being outside, jumping, moving, dogs, grass, and being with his momma. He hates naps, and being hot.

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

photo courtesy: Erikamarie Photography

2 Months: Sleeping & Smiling

2 Months

Size of Corbin: 13.1 pounds (84.1%), 25 inches long (99.9%), 16 inch head (96.4%). Yep. He big.

Corbin's new skills: smiling! "Smiling's my favorite." and rolling over from belly to back! and if sleeping is a skill... he is the master.

What's that chunker eating: I stopped giving him a bottle because I got lazy. And now he's decided he doesn't like it anymore. So we are definitely going back to AT LEAST one bottle a day. He eats about 5-6 times a day.

Getting any sleep: Corbin is sleeping 7-9 hours a night! Rockstar!!! During the day he takes 4-5 naps, some of them catnaps, and some of them marathons. Last night he slept 10 hours. Actually he slept 8 but he was happy for 10... so I count that. :) I really love that I am sleeping again. Andrew and I prayed that our baby would love sleep as much as we do and it would appear that God answered our prayer with a big fat yes! :)
Weight: 173

Weight loss so far: 27 pounds

Best moment this week: Corbin being an awesome traveler to Pennsylvania! Seeing my family, successfully shopping with my mom, and seeing Corbin's big smiles.
Miss Anything: I kind of miss Corbin's squishy newborn cheeks. But I'm reaching for something here.... Life is pretty perfect right now.

Wedding Rings: still. don't. fit.
Looking Forward To: another wonderful day with my little man!

2 months

Journal:
Let's start this journal out on an "intimate" note...
Since we last chitchatted one-sidedly, I had my 6 week checkup and my doctor said everything was great! What a relief. I expressed to her, my disgust at my personal smell. She said to try a douche! hahahahahahahahah! Sorry. That's just funny. Well here is my summary of that experience. It's not pleasurable. It's cold. And it works. That's all!

I was also ready to start exercising again! Wait. what? again? No... I was also ready to start exercising! I learned my first rule to exercising as a nursing mother... empty the boobs first! Wow, and get a better sports bra. Or just wear a pre-pregnancy tiny sports bra on top of the other one. That holds them pretty tight. I am not used to bouncing boobs. I do not like bouncing boobs. That's what I miss! I miss my small perky chest. Now its big and saggy. Next it will be small and saggy. How very sad.

I'm about to get all serious up in here, but before I start whining more about my body, let me point out one thing about my body that Corbin has improved. At least I assume it's compliments of Corbin. My armpit hair has GREATLY diminished! I used to look like I needed to shave them an hour after I just did, and now... I can go TWO days without shaving and it STILL looks better than it did! It's like the hair stopped growing! Talk about life changing.

Ok, here's something I was definitely not expecting- mainly because I didn't really give it much thought. (I now see that I'm repeating myself from last post, but it's still bothering me...) I am having a much harder time with my post-pregnant body than I ever thought I would. My legs and hips and butt have never been much to brag about... always bigger than I wished they were. But I've always been proud of my flat stomach. It's never been hard to keep it flat. When I didn't exercise and ate like a junkie my stomach never got bigger. It all goes to my hips. I did think about this when I got pregnant though. I was afraid I was just going to look like a huge ball of fat because my flat stomach was going to be gone and my hips and thighs were already huge! However, dressing my pregnant self was fun. I liked showing off the bump and it was pretty easy to do. I wasn't ashamed of how big I was getting (even when Andrew kept commenting on my "counter-weight") I felt good about myself! WELL. I knew I wasn't going to like the jelly belly after I had my baby and I was amazed at how pregnant I looked the first couple days after delivery. I was still ok with it, even when Andrew's Grandma sounded amazed when she said, "Oh! You still have a pretty big belly there!" Um. Yeah. She's a grandma so I decided to not take offense. By the end of that first week I had lost 20 pounds and 5 more the second week. My stomach was shrinking like it was it's job and I was NOT even trying!!! How great this is!! Well then it stopped. I didn't loose an ounce of weight after that 25 pounds (remember, I gained 50) and my stomach was done shrinking on it's own. Andrew and I were both getting tired of me wearing yoga pants and his button-downs and my pregnant sister wanted all the maternity clothes back. I packed them up and sent them to PA and dug out my pre-pregnancy clothes. I knew I wouldn't fit into all of them, or even most of them. But I certainly thought SOMETHING would look alright! Not so. I realized that all my life I've dressed a flat stomach and bought clothes that don't hide a flat stomach. I was really really really becoming quite bothered and frustrated every time I tried to find something nice to wear. So I went shopping. I bought 2 shirts and a pair of pants and felt guilty about spending the money. I felt dumb wearing the same 2 shirts every time I wanted to not wear yoga pants and man-flannels so I went shopping again. I tried on probably 50 pairs of pants and came home with 2. They are much bigger than I ever thought I would ever wear. I also got 2 more shirts. I still felt like I had little options and kept thinking how everyone is going to think I only ever wear 2 outfits. I'm sure that no one really cares, if they even did notice. But I still felt like crap about how I look and took forever to pick an outfit. (I know, I know - #firstworldprobs. It is what it is.) So on my birthday I took my birthday money and a little leftover Christmas money and spent the whole day shopping with my mom. I got some great deals and a good selection of clothes!!! I'm much more excited to get dressed now. No more staying in my PJs all day!! :)

27 pounds down, 33 to go!

I have been working out almost every day now too and that is making me feel better. I feel like I'm getting skinnier and tightening my muscles up so much while I'm working out and then I'm always surprised to see all my flub is still there when I take a shower. But I think I'm on the right track. Like they say- it took 9 months to put this weight on, it's going to (apparently) take longer than 9 weeks to get it off. I don't just have to keep my goal in mind of losing all my baby weight plus 10 pounds, I also have to keep in mind that I want that done by February... not tomorrow. :) I do want to thank the people who have encouraged me by telling me that I look great. Relatively speaking, I believe you (as in, compared to how I looked 10 weeks ago...). You don't see me naked so don't be surprised if I don't believe you completely. :) I love the kind words and they are encouraging to me as I try to believe them myself. (now don't go telling me I look great now that I've said all this.... because I WON'T believe you... out of spite)

Happy Easter! Rockin' the sweet outfit from Grandma King!

We took Corbin on his first road trip last weekend to Pennsylvania for my birthday/Easter. The kid rocks. He only woke up once on the way there when we were already stopped and I gave him a bottle and he went right back to sleep until we went up the mountain and all our ears were popping. *pish, flatlanders. On the way home he slept the whole way! What a great traveler... what a relief.

She is 6 months older than him.

Corbin had his 2 month checkup today (Thursday)! He's of course big and tall.  2 months means that he had his first vaccines today, too. :( Well I guess he got one in the hospital, but life was so traumatic then that I don't think he cared. He cares now. I thought I was going to be a hot mess, but I did great!! haha! I felt like a traitor, though, because I was all snuggling with him and he was smiling and then BAM screaming bloody murder as the nurse shot him with that dreadful needle. He shares my sentiments about needles. After she was FINALLY done (no really, it took just a couple seconds) I picked him up and we snuggled some more and he was fine. I nursed him and he promptly fell asleep (the order we do things around here is Sleep, Eat, Awake, Sleep, Eat, Awake. He doesn't ever Eat then Sleep.... thanks to Babywise.) He slept for 3 hours and then screamed like his heart was broken. My heart was actually the one breaking and THAT'S when I lost it and cried a little with him. It was definitely not a cry I've ever heard from him before and it was basically inconsolable. Finally he nursed and when he was finished he cried some more. Unfortunately, we weren't at home so I didn't have any Tylenol to give him so we high-tailed it home so I could give him some, but he fell asleep again as soon as we left and is still sleeping. Those dumb shots are doing a number on him. I know vaccinations are quite controversial these days with more and more people deciding not to vaccinate. I don't really want to get into that here but after much thought and discussion, we decided to go ahead with what my doctor recommends. She made me feel a little better about it when she said she doesn't follow the CDC guidelines exactly because she's a mother and wouldn't do that to her own kids. That's what I like to hear. Her deviation comes at the 1 year shots- she spaces them out more. Anyway.... so tonight we are planning to snuggle and sleep until we all feel all better. Then tomorrow- it's back to work! And by work, I don't mean my job.... I still have 2 more week off. OMG.... 2 weeks is not enough.....

By work, I mean- we are going to start learning how to take daytime naps in the crib. We've been taking a gradual approach to this. I used to rock him to sleep every time and then transfer him to his snuggle rocker. Well when I realized I was rocking him every time and probably shouldn't (I want him to go down for a nap without that "prop") I eventually got him to sleep in his bouncy seat with the vibration on. He was doing great with that - falling asleep on his own after looking around for a while. Well now when it's naptime I am going to try getting him to fall asleep on his own in his crib, instead of the bouncy seat. The bouncy seat is a fine and great place to sleep but what happens when we are somewhere else and it's time for a nap? So that's our next step.
This is the 3rd day I've been writing this blog and today is now the day that we are learning to take a nap in the crib. I was organizing his clothes upstairs and just had him in the swing all cuddled and pacified and he was watching and looking around. Then I watched him falling asleep. I know he would have probably taken a nice long nap in that swing and trust me- I would love him to take a nice long nap right now.... but I said we were going to nap in the crib and I was going to stick to my guns.... So I gently picked him up and wrapped him up and gave him a kiss and laid him in the crib. He has been crying/sleeping for the last 45 minutes now. He will fall asleep but won't stay sleeping. It's not easy letting him cry and keeping him there when I know he would sleep so much better somewhere else! Am I crazy?!?!

Well he's been quiet now for 30 minutes so I'm going to assume he's finally put himself to sleep.... with some occasional encouragement from yours truly. Let's hope he learns this quickly because I am not enjoying it!!!

The First 6 Weeks: 5 Things I Wasn't Expecting After Having a Baby

6 Weeks

Size of Corbin: at one month he was up to 11lb 6 oz and 23 1/2 inches long. Since he's 6 weeks old now, I'm sure he's MUCH bigger

Corbin's new skills: He holds his head up really good, but he's done really good at that since he was born!

What's that chunker eating: His favorite booby milk. Corbin eats on average about every 3 hours for about 15-20 minutes. He takes one bottle a day of breastmilk to get him geared up for when I go back to work... boo. He's usually pretty good with the bottle, but sometimes half of it leaks down his chin. He doesn't seem to mind. (usually)

Getting any sleep: Corbin goes about 6 hours through the night followed by 3-4 more hours after that so I can sleep til 7-8:00. :) During the day he sleeps for about 1-2 hours every 3 hours. My sleep is SOOOOO much better than when I was pregnant!!! I usually go to bed around 10ish and get up once or twice to feed Corbin before I'm ready to get up around 8. It's so marvelous! Of course, once I go back to work I'll have to stop going back to bed after that early morning feeding. boo.

Weight: 175
Weight loss so far: 25 pounds!

Best moment this week: Since we're playing catch up... I would say that first week was probably my favorite. I was so overwhelmed with love that my soreness didn't bother me. Corbin was awesome, very rarely cried and slept awesomely.... I had to wake him up to feed him! More on that later... But this past week, the best moment? hmm... getting my diapers to stop leaking was nice. Also, being able to go outside and go for some walks in the park with my darling babe.
Miss Anything: knowing how to dress.

Wedding Rings: I've been wearing my fake band so I look married, which was a first step, since even that didn't fit at the end! I've gotten my real band on with some effort and would have left it on if I could have gotten my diamond on. Since they are both so nice and shiny I don't want to dull the band before I can wear the diamond. I wasn't able to get that on, which is, I think, a half size smaller than my band. I do wonder if I'll every be able to get it back on. Perhaps when I start losing weight with exercise...
Looking Forward To: being able to exercise so I can wear my clothes again!!!!

Journal:

    I would like to start off with some things I wasn't expecting after having a baby.

1. I was expecting my hooha to be sore for a while after pushing a large body through it, but I was NOT expecting my tailbone to be so sore. In fact, my hooha didn't even hurt hardly at all- just my tailbone! Unfortunately, it STILL hurts, 6 weeks later. I have a friend who also had back labor and tailbone pain following her delivery. I asked her the day how long she had it and she said it still hurts her sometimes. Her baby is 9 months old. NOT COOL!!! I am planning to see the chiropractor to see if anything can be done about that. I just need to call and make an appointment!!! (which is a big deal, if you don't know me.)

2. The day after Corbin was born I realized that my biceps were extremely sore.... like I had done a serious arm workout the day before. I mean really, my whole body felt like I had just run a marathon, and it took me a little to realize why my arms were so sore. It wasn't because I was holding him so much... It was from pulling so hard on those handlebars when I was pushing!!! Yikes.

3. Another thing that was sore the next day was my jaw!  Monday morning it was so sore that I couldn't open it the whole way. As the day went on it got progressively worse. I could no longer eat hard foods, or big foods since I could barely open. I had to shove food between my teeth to get it in. This has since gotten better but unfortunately I still can't open it the whole way. I was definitely NOT expecting it to last this long either! At first I just assumed that I must have been clenching really bad the night before like I do sometimes. I have a nightguard to wear but didn't take it to the hospital and hadn't worn it for a while before when I was pregnant. Usually when my jaw is sore in the morning it gets all better by the next day or so. I don't remember if it was Monday or Tuesday night when I realized why it was still so sore. It was also from when I was in labor! I re-enacted my yelling while telling Corbin's birth story for someone and I jutted my jaw out and WOW that hurt! Still does. So I think it's from being so tense from the pain and I was clenching and jutting my jaw. Bad idea. I was also a little hoarse Sunday and Monday from the yelling. hehehe

4. Ok, this next one, I admit, I was warned about. My friend told me how her hooha smelled so awful after she had her baby. She told me this while I was still pregnant and I responded with, "Yeah, mine already smells wretched!" Which it did! But I tell you what, this is an entirely different kind of smell and it is WAY worse. I guess it's from a pH imbalance. I am very ready for things to balance themselves out because honestly.... it's embarrassingly AWFUL!

5. Finally, I did not think about how hard it would be to dress a post-partum body. I enjoyed dressing my pregnant body because it was fun to show my little then big belly! The great thing is, other people thought it was cute too! The last week or 2 before he was born is the exception because I was getting so big by that point that the cute clothes weren't fitting anymore. Anyway.... the very large majority of my maternity wardrobe was borrowed from my sisters' collection. (that's not a grammatical error, Courtney... there were 2 sisters, one collection.) Well, my sister is pregnant now so I had to give her all those large clothes. That left me with only a couple larger shirts that I had bought early on in my pregnancy and my pre-pregnancy clothes. Before I was pregnant, I had a flat stomach and small boobs. I bought small and medium shirts and usually they showed my flat stomach. Relatively speaking, my boobs are HUGE now and I have a hideous pooch on my stomach that I've never had before, and therefore have no idea how to dress it!!! My shirts are all too tight and/or too short since my larger chest makes them shorter. I am far from comfortable with letting my pooch be seen by anyone other than my husband (i don't even like that!) so I basically don't have any clothes I'm comfortable wearing. We are trying to save money while I'm not working and since we have some nice big bills to be paid, so I wasn't sure about going shopping for new clothes but it had to be done. I got 3 new shirts and 3 new pants. I feel comfortable in those clothes, and my yoga pants and that's about it! So if you see me wearing the same 3 outfits, now you know why! 

Tomorrow is my 6 week appointment with my doctor. I'm kind of excited for it. I'm assuming she is going to tell me that I am cleared to exercise to my heart's content. I have never been so excited to exercise before! It has been SO long since I've done anything other than walk. I hate running, so don't expect that out of me. But Jillian and Shaun T and I have lots of dates that we're anticipating! I've never actually exercised to try to lose weight and inches before. It's always just been to feel better about myself and to not feel guilty about my eating habits. I really hope that it isn't the hardest thing ever to lose the weight and inches. I've been trying to eat better since I'm nursing. My snacks are usually greek yogurt, hard boiled eggs, celery with peanut or almond butter, and banana/pb/choc chip quesadillas. PROTEIN! Of course I'll occasionally have some puppy chow or cookies, but not NEAR as often as I used to. Anyway.... did you see that I've already lost TWENTY-FIVE pounds?!?!?! HOLLAR!!!!!  That was all thanks to Corbin. Unfortunately I still have 25 more pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My goal is to lose 10 more on top of that. So I will be trying to lose 35 pounds. That really seems like a lot, but my goal is to lose 35 pounds by February 2015 so I think that's reasonable. Is it?? I'm gonna try anyway. I would like to lose the first 25 before winter comes back again. We'll see! Yes we will all see because I'm going to keep this blog going and keeping you updated on my progress. I'm sure it's not as fun to see me lose weight was it was to gain it but it will keep my accountable. Surely, I won't want to keep posting pictures of my flubby body without exercising to try to tone it back up! :) Don't expect weekly pictures though... I know how annoying it can be to try to get a picture of myself every week. Maybe monthly though.

So with those stats up there, that is the average/norm/typical these days. However, Corbin is 6 weeks today and apparently that means it's time for another growth spurt. I hate growth spurts. They frustrate me to no end. Today he's decided that he's hungry every 2 hours instead of 3. That's only one hour of difference you say? It makes a HUGE difference in doing anything else. I'm not content to sit around on the couch watching TV and holding my baby all day long anymore and 2 hours flies by in NO TIME. It's hard to get anything done between putting him back down for a nap and feeding him. It is nice to know that's what's "wrong" though. I don't like fussiness for no reason. He's generally a happy baby except when he's hungry or tired. Ok, you're right... he's often hungry or tired. 

We are full time into cloth diapering now and I am loving it. It makes changing a diaper so much more fun. Laundry is probably my favorite chore so I don't mind the extra work there. And it really makes me happy knowing that I'm not filling a landfill with diapers and wipes, or hurting the atmosphere with trying to burn them. But you know me.... my spirit soars knowing that I am not spending hardly any money. I say hardly because I am buying detergent, which is pretty cheap, but I am using it a lot. Our water is free, and they get hung up to dry. I'm giving myself a little pat on the back, but I know it's not practical for everyone. Or enticing to most. I enjoy it, and think it wouldn't be so bad even for those who think it would be. I also use cloth wipes which are super easy and also cute, since my sister made them for me out of pretty flannel fabrics. I also use baby washcloths since I got a lot of those and go through the stash quickly. :) Now we need more consistent warm sunny days so I can hang them up outside more!!!  I did have my first issue with them about a week ago. They started leaking pee through the cover, not just around the legs. So I stripped them just by washing them over and over again in the washer without detergent and hanging them all up to dry, even the inserts. I ended up with a few that got hard water stains, so Andrew turned up the softener, but they have all worked great ever since! I used to put the inserts in the dryer but since I use dryer sheets for the rest of my laundry I think there was a buildup of softener in the dryer that was getting on the inserts, making them less absorbent. Since I started hanging those up too, I haven't had any leaks! Let's hope that was my last issue with cloth dipering. If they're gonna leak, it's not worth it to me! (after I just boasted how wonderful it is....)

Well, I think that's all I feel like updating for now.... my boys are both sleeping and I think I'd like to join them. :) Have a great week!!! :)

Birth Story: Corbin Jack

So my baby is already a month old, and I've heard from a handful of you that you've been waiting for an update on the blog. Well... believe it or not, the blog has taken a major backseat to basically everything else in life. I wanted to journal his birth story right away so I wouldn't forget things, especially the funny stuff. But I tell you what, every day that first week the one thing I wanted to make sure got done was documenting what was happening but between visitors and feeding all I could manage to do was sleep! I would look at a screen and last no more than 10 seconds. Also, every time I nursed him I felt like I was being drugged because I couldn't stay awake... even with visitors. I remember trying so hard to stay awake when people would visit but I just couldn't. Anyway- let's back up... Oh and remember, I'm not good at telling short stories... so grab a cup of hot cocoa and kick your feet up-- if you plan to finish reading this in one sitting, it will be a while......

 At my last prenatal appointment my doctor told me if I didn't have this baby by Sunday, to call Monday morning to schedule an induction for that week. After he didn't come by the weekend I prepared myself and assumed I was going to need to be induced. I remember talking to my sister on Saturday about having to be induced and how jipped she felt when she was induced with her first and I was feeling the same about not going into labor naturally. When we went to bed Saturday night- me in our bed, Andrew in the guest bed, neither of us thought it would be our last night just the 2 of us.

​I woke up around 3:20am Sunday morning feeling like I had to poop, and NOW. So I went downstairs and sat... and sat... and gave up. So I went back to bed feeling constipated. I woke back up a half hour later thinking I would for sure go this time, but just the way it had come back made me wonder. I saw Andrew stir when I was on my way downstairs so I told him, “I might be having contractions but I think I’m just constipated.” He just said, “really?” But he tells me now that he was thinking, “if you think you’re having contractions, you probably are!” Well I went back to the bathroom and I did indeed poop. I went back upstairs and just sat at the top talking to Andrew. I told him I still didn’t feel right, but that I did poop and maybe I just wasn’t done. Andrew wasn’t entirely convinced by that. Well I crawled back in bed and then immediately got back out, feeling awful. I came downstairs and kind of wandered around and then tried sitting on the couch for a little but I couldn’t hold still because of the pain in my lower back. Around 4:30am I yelled up the stairs, "Andrew, can you come downstairs?!" I needed some moral support. He did and we tried to see if this was real labor or not. (more so, I tried to decide if it was or not, and Andrew tried to convince me.) I was so confused because I had read before that real labor starts at the top of your uterus and works its way down. Well my stomach/torso area never once hurt. Finally I decided to call my mom and ask her if I was having back labor. I never asked her that question (Andrew did) because I was afraid of the answer. She had told me before that back labor was the WORST and she hoped of all things that I didn't have back labor. I had back labor. Anyway, she said it sounded like labor, and when I got a contraction I gave Andrew the phone and I squatted on the floor and yelled. Andrew had been trying to time my contractions, which he said was hard to do because I was moaning the whole time- but definitely louder when they were stronger. Finally after he kept saying “that was like 5 minutes!” and “it’s only been like 2 minutes!!!” I called the hospital and told them I was coming in.

​On the way to the hospital I continued to have contractions roughly 3-6 min apart. I remember being able to tell when they were coming on and I told yelled at Andrew that I hated knowing they were coming.  There were no cars on the road on our way, and Andrew took the liberty of speeding the whole way there. He asked what he should do if he got pulled over and I said, “DON’T PULL OVER! Put your 4 ways on and just keep going!” Luckily we didn’t have to try that out. Right before the hospital there is a red light that takes FOREVER to change so as soon as we were coming up to it, I informed Andrew of this, and told him to run it. He did. Andrew asked if he should drop me off but I didn’t want to be left alone so I made him park and we walked to the door together, me stopping a couple times because of the pain. When we got to the desk I said my name and the nurse said, I assume you called in? I told her I did and she told someone, “We have another one.” All the triage rooms were full so she took me right to a Labor/Delivery/Recovery/Postpartum room. She handed me a gown and told me to change into it. Now, I realize that everyone was about to see invade my most private areas but I did not feel like getting butt naked in a big room with a nurse and my husband. I don't know why I thought I had to have any dignity because I went to the bathroom and while I was sitting there, I got very nauseous. I told the nurse I felt like I was going to throw up and sure enough… I did... butt naked sitting on the toilet throwing up and she's being a good nurse and getting me a bin to barf in and helping me put my gown on. So long dignity. Finally I climbed into the bed and she checked me and told me I was 2cm dilated. What a huge let down!!! I couldn’t believe I had all those contractions with all that pain and I was only one more centimeter dilated!!! Andrew and I were both thinking that this was going to be a very long day. The nurse told us that some other doctor was on call that weekend but that sometimes mine would come in anyway. I thought, well she better come in, she told me she wasn’t doing anything this weekend!

​I’m pretty sure the nurses thought it was going to be a long day too, and under different circumstances, I’m sure I would have been sent back home. However, when they called my doctor she told them to keep me there and she would come in and break my water, since I was overdue anyway. She apparently also had a busy week scheduled and didn’t know when she was going to fit me in for an induction! When the nurses told me she was going to break my water, they also decided to tell me that the labor was going to get much worse once she did that. I don’t know why they decided to tell me that. It was a lie anyway.

​I continued to have back labor and Andrew was pushing with his fists on my lower back to help with the pain. He was pushing as hard as he could; I ended up with slight bruising on my lower back! One time he said he was going to push me off the bed if he kept pushing that hard, and I told him that’s ok. I pushed against the bed railing and every now and then would scootch back to the other side of the bed. One particular contraction he was pushing on my back and I thought maybe he was making it worse, so I told him, “Stop pushing!” Well as soon as he stopped, the pain got worse, so I yelled, “PUSH!” Andrew says I did that a couple times, but I only remember one.

​I ended up throwing up two more times throughout the course of labor because the pain was so strong. What an awful, terrible feeling. The throwing up, which was mainly dry heaving followed by regurgitating clear liquids, is what made me cry and feel like the worst person in the world. My mouth was so incredibly dry that I needed to keep drinking, but eventually I realized that’s what was making me throw up. Andrew asked me if I wanted ice (how he knew to think of and offer that, I don’t know) and I told him I did because maybe the moisture would last longer in my mouth. I ate ice chips the rest of labor.

​Andrew did such an amazing job. There is no way that I could have done that without his help. He was encouraging, he did whatever I asked yelled and never once appeared scared. I tell him the only thing he could have done better is have some extra hands so he could give me ice while still pushing on my back. I hated losing his pressure when he would get me the ice, but I couldn’t do without the ice either!!!

​The nurses kept asking me if I wanted the epidural and I kept telling them, “No, I do not!” I knew it would take a lot of convincing for me to get the epidural, and if that back labor couldn’t convince me, no one will ever be able to!  After about an hour and a half of contractions, I think the nurses realized that I was progressing faster than they initially thought. They checked me again and I was 5-6cm dilated. Andrew and I both felt some relief with that! At least all this was doing something!!!

​At one point the nurses were talking about how me and the other girl who came in right before me, both came in not wanting an epidural and that the other girl just got one. I heard that and told Andrew, “I WIN!” He didn’t let me have that satisfaction, and he responded, “ No, you don’t win. You’re just more stubborn.” Darn right, I am. I'm sure that I will go without an epidural for all future births too because the next day my doctor told me she was really glad I didn't have one because she didn't think she would have been able to get him out with one. She watched him twist as he came through the canal. With him being in there all wompy, I probably would have needed a c-section if I got an epidural.

​The labor nurse asked me if I wanted Stadol to help with the pain. I had no idea what that was, and was nervous to say yes. I tried to get her to tell me a little more about it, but all she really said was that it takes the edge off the pain and will feel like I’ve had a couple drinks. I don’t know what having a couple drinks feels like, but if it feels like Stadol, I don't want them. She gave it to me and immediately I felt dizzy and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I basically kept my eyes shut the rest of the time. When they asked me to rate my pain, I told them that maybe it was a little better- I picked 9 instead of 10.  Andrew says he could see the difference more than I could feel it. I still say the pain at the height of the contractions was just as bad. The difference was that in between them, I got some relief, unlike I was getting before. Between contractions I was nearly falling asleep. 

​Backing up a little, I started out laying on my back and labored there for a little while, but eventually a nurse told me that the baby’s heartrate was dropping when I had contractions so I would need to reposition myself. She suggested laying on my side, so I went to my right first. That felt better for me anyway so I was happy to do it. Unfortunately, it made it worse for the baby so they said to try the other side. Well when I rolled to my left side I got another contraction so I said, “NOOO! This is worse!!” They told me it was better for the baby and that I should stay. I stayed that way until I was pushing him out.

​Around 9/9:30ish my doctor showed up in her "street clothes." I was SOOOOO glad to see her! She got herself changed into scrubs and checked me out. I was 8-9cm dilated! Andrew and I were so excited! She broke my water, which I never felt and when the nurse asked her if it was clear my doctor said, “Yeah, well there’s really not much there, she is overdue.” Maybe that’s why I never felt the difference.

​So like I said, I continued my back labor and let everyone in the hospital know it. I was a screamer. I yelled with every contraction, and moaned in between. I would sometimes yell things like, “It HURRRRRTS!” or “I HATE THIS!” “I’m never doing this AGAIN!!!” Andrew told me he would remember that. (Later that day I said something like, “Next time…” And Andrew reminded me of this.

Anyway, so my least favorite nurse would respond to these outbursts by saying things like “Yes, this is labor” “Labor hurts” “it’s supposed to.” Let me just tell you… I wanted to smack her face off for saying those things. Andrew even agrees that she was… not helpful in this way.

​Once, the doctor came in and told me that I could push a little when my contractions were the worst and that would help with the pain. I had been clenching everything and my legs were stiff as boards during those contractions. So I had to sort of, change gears a bit to push instead of clench. The pushing really did help. I did a little at first, but got sort of addicted to it. I don’t remember rolling back to my back but before I knew it the nurses were bringing up foot rests for me to push against and they told me to hold on to my legs to help me push and I was pushing! I couldn’t hold on to my legs. That didn’t really work for me. My doctor told them since I was pretty tall that maybe the handle bars would be easier. Thank you, yes they were. I was gripping and pulling on these handlebars with all my strength!!! I thought about labor and pushing when I was pregnant and I always thought I would love the feeling of pushing and that I would be really good at it. I’m really good at pushing out poop. Well…. that’s what I did. I pooped 3 times. Yes, THREE times. And it wasn’t diarrhea either. I know that I was pooping because I could feel the turds coming out and I could smell it, and I could feel my doctor wiping my butt, and watched her change her gloves every time. How I can look her in the face now is beyond me. I yelled at her once, "all I can do is poop!" and she said it was fine and to not worry about it. Well I wouldn’t worry about it except that’s the only feeling of pushing I could get. People say it’s the same muscles you use to push, but I’m here to tell you there is a difference! I had one good push that I know was the right muscles, but I couldn’t ever find it again. My doctor even said that was a good one. I never felt him moving down, and I couldn’t feel a thing with the pushing… just immense back pain. They told me they could feel the head and that he was close and push “one more time.” That’s like my mother’s “one more bite,”which is only true if you’re an alligator. I really really really hated pushing. I felt like I couldn’t do it. In fact, that is what I kept yelling. And Andrew, the nurses, and the doctor all responded that I could do it, and that I was doing it right now. I grunted and yelled with every push and whenever I would do that, the nurse and Dr would yell, “ no no no!!!” I thought that meant, don’t push! Once I realized that’s not what they meant, I yelled “I don’t know what you mean when you say no!!!” Basically the doctor was yelling at me. I was yelling at her. It was a joyous occasion.  

​My doctor told Andrew to come down and help her out, which was NOT the plan. I told him for months that he was required to stay up by me so my lady parts and giving birth would not gross him out. He was needed to help hold my leg out, since I kept wanting to close them, and also holding my legs back on the table, since I kept wanting to slide off! Not really though, I kept pushing, and moving farther down the table because I felt like I could push harder down, than out. I guess my doctor didn’t think that was a good idea.

There was another time​ I wasn’t breathing slow enough (probably because I told Andrew to stop telling me to focus on my breathing) and there was, I guess, some hyperventilating about to happen and all of a sudden there is an oxygen mask on my face. Hello?! A warning would be nice!!! So I ripped it off my face. The nurse yelled at me told me to leave it on, and put it back on. I glared at her and left it on for about 5 more seconds and ripped it off again. I made sure I calmed my breathing down so they wouldn't sufficate me with more oxygen... ;)

​Finally, I felt the Ring of Fire. I knew the end was near. Only maybe 3 more pushes and that precious head was out. It was so huge I thought for sure his whole body was out. Nope! One more push and out he came. I did open my eyes in time to see his slimy little (big) body as the doctor pulled him out. They did some this and that, I don’t know what, and I light-heartedly pushed out the placenta and felt the ultimate relief I was craving. Andrew cut the cord and the nurses wiped Corbin off and placed him on my chest. AH-MAZING. I slowly brought my hands up to him and touched his little arm. I could not believe it- he was real! That’s what I thought when I touched his skin and felt his warmth, felt that there was blood, muscles, and bone inside. He was real and alive, and ours! Whoa!

​He wasn’t really very cute. Andrew and I both agreed on this. However… later that evening Andrew said something to the effect of him not looking so bad after all, I had thought the same thing and told him so. He continues to get cuter and cuter every day!!! Have no fear, I think he is the cutest little man now! 

     ​A short summary of the first week is that it was pretty easy. He didn't really cry much except when we changed his diaper. I say we, because that first week, it was usually a group effort. Speaking of changing diapers. He got me all worried because he took a long time to have his first wet diaper. The doctor said she didn't want to do his circumcision until he could prove he could wet a diaper. It was a big celebration MONDAY night when he had his first soaker. Well, he had a poopy diaper Monday afternoon and then decided he didn't want to have another one until Wednesday. No poop or pee for 2 days... I was a worried mess. After that he's never stopped! Ha! 

         Well I think that's enough details! Next up: 1 Week-1 Month!