#2. Week 23

Size of baby: grapefruit
What's that Babe up to: forming nip.ples. no really. also, listening to my voice and heartbeat- probably realizing that my heartrate is crazy and fast!! Can hear other loud noises too- and she hears plenty of those from Corbin! He likes to say "hi!"
Symptoms:  lower back and hip pain, swelling is starting! & occasional heartburn, and nightly congestion
Food cravings or aversions: none

Weight: 171
Weight gain so far: uhhhh... math.. 26 pounds. They say you should gain 25-35 pounds. Well! I've got 17 weeks to spread out 9 pounds!! Yeah right, we all know that's not gonna happen
Maternity Clothes: just went through all my pants again, trying to find my right size. Unfortunately, most of them were too tight. I do still have a couple pair of normal pants that still fit. And by normal, I mean not maternity, but larger than my normal size. :)
Sleep: sleeping through the night so I'm gonna say great! I would sleep better if my throat and nose didn't get so full though. Vicks is REALLY helping with this though!!
Best moment this week: feeling baby girl moving so much more!!
Miss Anything: being able to do what I want. We've been talking about doing MDS in January if my Dr okays it tomorrow. I've been back and forth on whether it would be a good idea, but yesterday I got really excited to go and be useful as a baby sitter and helping in the kitchen or what have you... and then I read my post from my last pregnancy when I was 32 weeks. It was Christmas and I was swollen and sore and miserable and uncomfortable and that's all I wrote about. That makes me not want to go. So perhaps we shall just wait and see!!!

Movement: feeling her moving every day now! She was just doing somersaults, I'm sure of it!
Belly Button: nice that I can see the whole way in to keep it clean, but I'm pretty sure it will never pop out
Wedding Rings: Still fitting! My gloves were feeling a bit tight today at work though! Might be time to move up a size soon!
Looking Forward To: Thanksgiving!! only 2 more weeks!!!

23 weeks

1st pregnancy

I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'm definitely bigger this time around!!! Look how much lower and out my belly is!!! Whoa!!! The wives' tale is that boys are carried low and girls are carried high. I guess I don't fit into that one! In fact, this pregnancy is so much like the first one that maybe this is a boy, too! I guess we should be prepared for that just in case!!

Corbin Jack: My Favorite Little Man

10/1/15 Roughly 19 months-ish

I've decided I should probably record some of my favorite things about Corbin and some of his favorite things and his development. I always intend to, because I know that I will not remember this, even though that kills me because I LOVE this!

Corbin is roughly 19 months old. Some of my favorite things about him are that he likes to snuggle. If you're sitting down, he wants to be right next to you. Or on you. If you lay down on the floor, he will get you a pillow, and then sit on your tummy... or your head. I'm trying to teach him that he needs to be careful with the baby (and my head) but he's not liking that lesson. I also love to watch him run. It's so cute how a toddler swings their legs out and wiggle their hips as they run! 

He likes to play with his kitchen if I'm in the playroom, but will usually bring something out to the living room or kitchen if that's where I am. He likes to play with his tractors, ride and push his Thomas train, and read books. He also likes to help! He enjoys throwing away trash for me, unloading the dishwasher, and "helping" with laundry. If you say the word "bath" out loud he will immediate start taking his clothes off and want to take a bath right away! 

His vocabulary seems to be expanding every day. Most words he says, start with a B. I'll see how many words I can remember: Bo=phone and cow (moo), Be=boots and shoes and pillow, Baby, bay=bag, ba-a=milk and bread and jacket. Ha=hat, ow=out, boo boo, mama= momma and grandma, dada, papa=grandpa, no, yes, he has his own noise for kitty cat that I don't even know how to phonetically spell. daw= dog, bu=truck, bu-u= tractor. Amma=hammer, Omma= Homer (babysitter's dog), some German noises mean something that I haven't been able to figure out, but he's consistent with the sound. He also uses some German sound for teeth and cheese, but I don't know how to write it. If you're German, you should tell me how. It's like me trying to roll my Rs for Spanish, but just the noise, no voice. buh=bugs, mo-mor=more mow-mow= lawnmower, Ha=hot

speaking of trucks and tractors and buses, he loves them all and will point them out every time. He also loves dogs and puppies and kitties... probably all animals. Except bugs. He doesn't like bugs. He likes to point them out in haste and then smash them or run away from them. Smart kid. He also likes to ride the lawnmower, tractors AND Andrew's truck. If he sees his truck he thinks he needs to be in it.

Corbin has also learned how to crawl out of his crib. NOT my favorite thing. We should probably move him to a bed, but we don't have space for that yet!!! If he is doing something that he knows he shouldn't be doing, he will say "no no no" as he continues to do it. Also not my favorite thing. He also doesn't like to listen to me sometimes, but will listen to Andrew. Another non-favorite. He has seemed to get over his love for shrill screaming, for which I'm grateful. He kind of throws tempers like his momma by stomping his feet and whining. Makes me look awesome.

Sometimes when I'm rocking him to sleep- yes he still prefers me to rock him to sleep for bedtime (thankfully not naptime) I just hold him and look at him and bawl my eyes out because I love him so much. I am so afraid that I'll forget these moments, and I'm sure I will, and that just makes my heart so sad. He is such a joy!!

Back to the Beginning

I found this drafted post from a couple weeks ago. It's not very happy or anything and is quite outdated now, but I decided to post it anyway- for my own journaling archives. :)

Greetings, readers!

   So hopefully today's post will be more upbeat than my last post! I did remember a few things I wanted to document about this pregnancy that I didn't include in that post, so I will do them here.

Let's start from the very beginning. 

I thought March would be a good time to have another baby. We wanted Corbin to be at least 2 years old, so February was out. March was the next available month! We don't celebrate any other days in March (except both of our sisters-in-law share a birthday on the 9th.... ironic...) April is totally out of the question because basically everyone in our family has a birthday in April. Andrew wanted May (not sure his real reasons, because all I heard was him post-poning). I didn't want May because it already has our anniversary and Mother's Day. June would probably be acceptable, but I don't really want a summer baby- mainly because I don't want a summer pregnancy, so really, June would be ok. July, August, September, even October- out, because I don't want a summer pregancy. November is a good month but that's basically waiting another year, and December and January are out. That doesn't leave many "ideal" months in my mind to have a baby. Many people, ok maybe most people, don't get to pick when to have a baby- it just happens, or it's not easy to get pregnant. Every body is different. My body seems to know when I want to get pregnant and it listens, first try. So since we have the luxury (truly is a luxury) of picking when to get pregnant... might as well pick a good month.

After the deed was done I realized that I'll be going back to work in June. My babysitter only babysits during the school year. So now I'm going to have to find another babysitter for the summer for 2!! Andrew kindly pointed out that if we had the baby in May, I would have the whole summer off and we wouldn't have to worry about it. Well. Had he said that BEFORE I got pregnant, that probably would have convinced me to wait. Nevertheless, the deed was done and so it goes. I have since found a babysitter so this is no longer a concern. But before then, I was all "we should have waited, yadda yadda yadda." A couple weeks later I started to bleed. It wasn't just a little bit, but it wasn't a ton either. Andrew was gone in Georgia so I called my mom (after talking to Andrew) and she highly recommended calling the Dr in the morning, but if I woke up during the night with more to go to the ER. Nothing happened until morning so I called the Dr and they told me to come down to Defiance right away to get some bloodwork. I was babysitting my future daughter-in-law that day but no one around here knew I was pregnant (except Alexa, and she was working) So I took the 2 babes and my bleeding self down to defiance to get some bloodwork. They called later that day and said my hormone levels were high, congratulations, you're pregnant. So the next thing to do was to get my blood taken again in 2 days to see if it goes up. I worked the next day and passed a clot and the bleeding wasn't slowing down, so I called my Dr again. Dr Reiter, herself, called me back to try to reassure me and tell me what was going on. It was funny because she ended up saying that if I was having a miscarriage there was nothing I could do to stop it and I basically had a 50% chance of miscarrying. Then she kind of chuckled and said, I was calling to reassure you but now I realize I'm not doing a very good job of it! Haha! But she did. It was good to know and there was nothing to do but wait until the next day and get my blood tested. She told me what we would do if they were higher, and what we would do if they were not. So the next morning, before work, I went in to have it tested and they called me back at work and said that the levels were up! So I was to go get an ultrasound the same day to check again to make sure everything was ok. I went in during my lunch break and got the ultrasound. I heard the baby's heartbeat. I was slightly reassured. The Dr called later that day and I missed it, so I had to wait until the next morning to hear that everything looked completely normal and to keep them posted if the bleeding got worse. It never got worse, but it lasted a couple more weeks after that. 

Let me back up to say that when this was all happening, I was feeling tremendous guilt about wishing we had waited to have the baby until May. Guilt is not a cool thing, nor is it from God, but I've been feeling a lot of it lately. I was also, obviously, super-worried that I WAS losing the baby because my friend from work had just lost hers the week before. There were a lot of tears shed that week. (And with Andrew in Georgia, that certainly didn't help!)

At the ultrasound, the tech told me that I was measuring to be due March 9 (see? ironic) Dr Reiter said that wasn't enough difference to change the due date, so it's still March 6. (March 6 is a Sunday, Corbin was born on a Sunday. March 9 is a Wednesday, Corbin was due on a Wednesday)

Every appointment since then has been normal and easy. I've heard the heartbeat at every appointment. My next appt is this Tuesday and my ultrasound will hopefully be scheduled for the next week. Almost half way there! How did that happen?!?!

Baby #2

They say you always take more pictures of the firstborn than you do any of their siblings. I currently have 7 shutterfly books packed with pictures of Corbin documenting his first year and a half of life. I  hope I document this second kid better than I am this pregnancy!! I went from documenting EVERY WEEK of my pregnancy with Corbin and this is my first attempt at a blog post of this pregnancy!

I've thought of things to say a couple times but I haven't had enough motivation to actually get out my keyboard and type my thoughts. (Assuming you know that I also lack the time and energy!)

My thoughts have changed a bit as time goes on, I kind of go back and forth. I was VERY ready for another baby. I love the stage that Corbin is in, but I missed the baby stage, and missed when Corbin was so little. I'd like my kids to be close together in age, about 2 years-ish. Well my due date is less than 2 weeks after Corbin' birthday!

Andrew is a little less than excited about having a baby. Ok, let's be honest, he will never be excited to have a baby. He doesn't really care for babies. If they could come out at Corbin's age/stage he would be fine with having more kids (i think) but he will never want another baby. Tough beans for him, since we are definitely having more than one! (and hopefully more than 2!) Anyway, he kept wanting to put me off from getting pregnant a couple months so that we could have a baby in May instead of March. I figured it was just a stalling tactic (I still believe it was) But then after the deed was done he pointed out that if we had a baby in May, I would have the whole summer off work!!! Why didn't I think of that!? Why didn't he mention that sooner?!? Oh well. Too late. Maybe next time. 

As I said, my thoughts have changed some- This pregnancy is so very different than my first. A few symptoms are different, but mostly my attitude. I cherished my first pregnancy SO much and I'm so glad that I did. It was all brand new and was the most exciting thing to happen to my body and, dare I say, my life? This time around I barely keep track of what week I am (I only know because I put it in my calendar on my phone and it reminds me every Saturday night.) I have no idea how big it is, what it's doing or growing, etc. Last time I was excited to see my belly grow and I couldn't wait to show off my baby bump. This time, I see my expanding belly and my shrinking clothes as only a reminder of what I finally got rid of, and is coming back WAY too easily and fast!!! I dread having to lose this weight and fat again. And yet, I can't stop myself from stuffing my face with the chips at Casa Vieja, or eating the footlong BLT instead of just a 6 inch, or helping myself to seconds, thirds, and fourths, if I happen to make a decent meal. I started out better- healthier choices and healthier portions. And then the fair came to town and all bets have been off. I still prefer the healthier options, but the portion control is ... out of control.

Anyway, I digress, there have been a number of times that I've decided, no, I don't think I want another kid. I really just like Corbin and I know that no other kid will be like him and that makes me sad. I like what we have going here- the 3 of us. I don't know why I thought I had to change it up. I told my sister I wouldn't tell people that I thought those things, but why not... I remember reading a blog back when I was preggers with Corbo and the writer was saying how her first born will always hold a special place in her heart because he made her a mommy. I can see that being true for me too. Of course, everyone always says you end up having enough love to go around, but before this baby gets here, it's so hard to imagine!!!

I see my friends posting pictures of their newborns and it does not pull at my mommy heartstrings. I think, oh I don't feel like feeding a baby every 2 hours. Corbin more or less feeds himself. And oh, I don't feel like remembering to change diapers... ALL THE TIME. Corbin is down to 3 or so a day most days. And OH! I do NOT look forward to pumping. ugh. Or all the baby and nursing paraphenalia that will invade the house. I looked back at my blog today and saw a picture of me at 40 weeks. I looked absolutely bizarre. That is NOT normal human likeness. I did not feel like going through all this again. But when I look at pictures of Corbin as a baby, I think, "oh wait, maybe I do." Not only is he just darling to look at, but those pictures remind me of how I felt when they were taken. Completely smitten with love and joy and satisfaction, and indescribable emotions. Yes. Yes! Yes, I do want this baby and all the love and joy that comes with it! :)

One of the more recent times when I was emotional about having a second baby I texted my mom and sister, the two best listeners and advice-givers I have, and something my sister said has helped- Instead of worrying about not bonding with this baby, just think about how Corbin will love it and think about the interactions they will have. That helps. That sounds like a lot more fun!

Well now this blog post has been completely about how unsure I am about this whole thing, but that's been a lot of what's on my mind lately. Shall we resurrect some stats, and take my first belly shot???

17 Weeks

Size of Baby: large onion (roughly 5.1 inches)

What's that Babe up to: turning rubbery cartilage into bone, puttin' on some fat, just like the babe's momma
Symptoms: emotional, occasional round ligament pain, (headaches have gotten better, so has my sinus congestion)
Food Cravings: COTTAGE CHEESE! and pickels. So cliche.
Food Aversions: haven't had many. just don't like to end on something sweet
Weight: 160
Weight gain so far: 15. yeah I'm not kidding. Really, 15 lbs and I'm only 17 weeks. According to the pros of pregnancy weight-gain, it should only be 5-10 lbs. Last time it was 8 lbs. Today, its 15 lbs. UGH!!!
Maternity Clothes: just a couple shirts, mainly wearing my post-pregnancy clothes with some bella-bands
Sleep: (funny last time I said I was on the couch bc andrew had a sore throat and I knew I'd get a full on cold.. this happed just a couple weeks ago.) Sleep has been good- when I drink the proper amount during the day, I wake up a couple times to go to the bathroom (which is now RIGHT beside my room!!!) but if I don't, I sleep through the night. This week I got out my Snoogle. We are best friends.
Best moment this week: only working 2 days, and getting to spend more fun time with Corbin. Went to Sauder Village, yard saling, and made applesauce with the MIL!
Miss Anything: having control of my emotions.
Movement: I thought I did a couple weeks ago, but I haven't felt it since, so maybe it was just my intestines...
Belly Button: In
Wedding Rings: still fit and freshly cleaned and re-plated
Looking Forward To: really looking forward to the ultrasound so I can hopefully start to bond with this babe... and find a name.

Today, 17 weeks

First pregnancy 17 weeks.

Well that's probably enough for now. No promises on when the next time I'll post will be! Maybe I'll get Andrew to get some better pictures... ;)

Thanks for reading.